Dr. Meyer: That's the face, nose, and that's the mouth.
Glenn: It has a mouth! Oh, great.
Dina: Nobody does a fail video quite like a Russian.
Jerusha: Dina, take a look. It's perfect.
Dina: Yeah, it's fine.
Dr. Meyer: Do you want to see it in 4-D?
Glenn: Really?
Jerusha: Okay. [both gasp]
Dina: What the [bleep]?
Jerusha: Oh, it's a miracle.
Dina: Uh-huh.

Amy: Could they tell the sex?
Glenn: Well, the doctor wrote it down and put it in this envelope, so here goes nothing. [clamoring]
Amy: Wait.
Jonah: You're gonna just do that right here?
Kelly: You guys should do something special.
Sandra: Jerry's whole family came to the hospital for his catheter removal. The doctor even let his mom hold his penis while the nurse pulled out the tube.

Amy: So what do you think? Is it gonna be a Glenn or a Glenda?
Jerusha: Ugh, Glenda would be rough.
Amy: If I was a boy, I was gonna be Donald.
Jonah: [chortles] Donald?
Amy: Yeah.
Jonah: It just sounds like... I'm Don Sosa, and have I got a car for you.
Amy: Um, more like, and up next, batting for the Cardinals, number 34, Don Sosa!
Jonah: Oh, no, no way. [Italian accent] I'm-a Don-a Sosa. Please come to my villa so I may make-a love to you.
Amy: [Italian accent] But I work at the Cloud 9.
Jonah: Yes.
Amy: So we go to my tiny apartment, we make the love...
Jonah: You come visit me, do not worry, do not you worry, you sit-a on-a my twin bed. I'm-a make-a my roommate go away, he don't even looking.
Amy: Makea the love many times on the coupons.
Jonah: I give you half off the love making. [both laugh]
Amy: All right, I should get back to...
Jonah: I should go find Kelly.

Dina: Uh, excuse me? Are you pregnant or just fat?
Woman #1: Pregnant.
Dina: Okay, good. Uh, quick question, do you have any feelings of, I don't know, overwhelming panic and a desire to flee?
Woman #1: Is that your first?
Dina: Yeah. Well, technically it's not mine. It's my boss's.
Woman #1: Uh, okay. Uh, little advice. Get the C-section. With my first, I was in labor for 36 hours. Finally, I bit off part of my tongue, I passed out...
Woman #2: Sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I had a C-section. Not great. They couldn't get my uterus back in after, and they had to just keep shoving and punching it in like an overstuffed duffel.
Janet: I had to have twins. Breech birth, in the back of an Altima. Some EMT cut me from hole to hole.
Dina: Nope. Nope. Absolutely not.

Jonah: Everything okay with you guys?
Mateo: Yep, yeah, just spending a lot of time together.
Jonah: Really? I feel like managing a Target would take a lot of time...
Mateo: He doesn't work at Target. Okay, he didn't even make it past the phone interview.
Jonah: Wait, he's been lying?
Mateo: He's been too embarrassed to admit he's unemployed.
Jonah: Just because-
Jeff: [on the phone] Kathy, no, I can't come in early. Just handle it yourself or consult the Target handbook. [whispers] It's work.
Mateo: They cut off his cell phone service a month ago, so...

Kelly: Hey, Garrett. We need the envelope. Glenn said he gave it to you.
Sandra: We're gonna fill this piñata with either pink or blue candy.
Garrett: So people are gonna beat that baby with a stick till it bursts open and spews candy guts everywhere?
Kelly: Yep, that's what I said too.
Garrett: Do whatever you want. I don't care. [looks around]
Kelly: Did you lose it?
Garrett: No.
Kelly: Why do you sound nervous?
Garrett: Why do you sound like a cartoon mouse?
Sandra: [laughs] It's funny.

Mateo: Why would you tell Jeff what I said?
Jonah: I didn't, he's just really good at reading people. Like, not psychic, but he's operating on a very high level.

Amy: Look, Dina, it's just for a few more months.
Dina: Yeah, and then I get to endure the most gruesome pain imaginable. The phrase "cut from hole to hole" was said to me.
Amy: You know, it really didn't hurt that much. I remember thinking, like, big whoop. Way to over-hype it, women.
Cheyenne: Really? 'Cause for me, it was like... [off Amy's look] It was... it was like nothing.
Amy: Yeah, it was like bad cramps.
Cheyenne: Yeah, or like pooping, with blood and screaming and then a face comes out of you.

Amy: Look, last month, I thought I might be pregnant. I had missed a few periods, and I was gaining some weight...
Cheyenne: Oh, no way, you were gaining weight? [chuckles] I didn't even notice.
Dina: What, are you blind? Look at her.
Amy: Anyway, I took the test, and while I was waiting, I kind of realized I kind of wanted to be pregnant again.
Cheyenne: Oh, yeah, 'cause Emma's a dud.
Amy: No. What?
Cheyenne: Right, no, JK, she's my fave.

Amy: Because I remembered how amazing it felt. It's like, you're carrying this life. You're a god. I don't know, I was kind of sad when I got just the one cloud.
Dina: You took a Supercloud test?
Amy: Yeah.
Dina: Did you not read the memo? They recalled all the Supercloud tests after a bunch of false negatives. The Midwest is drowning in blooper babies.
Amy: Excuse me. [runs off]
Cheyenne: Probably trying to get her money back.