Dina: I know it's probably not the best timing, but... this is why you need to read the memos. Look at it this way, you said you wanted to be pregnant again.
Amy: I was obviously lying. No one wants to be pregnant. It's terrible.
Cheyenne: Okay, first things first, let's figure out who the father is. All right, let's make a list of all the people you've had sex with over the last few months.
Dina: Oh, Alex, Tate, write small, there could be dozens.
Amy: It's not either one of them. I was taking it slow with Alex, and I almost had sex with Tate. He started doing one-armed pushups, and he fell and got embarrassed, and so he left. He said he had a meeting, but it was like 2:00 a.m.

Amy: It was Adam.
Dina: Dubanowski?
Cheyenne: Isn't he dating someone?
Amy: Yeah, they broke up a couple months ago.
Dina: She broke up with him, though, right? It's the only scenario where it makes sense.
Amy: He came over to pick up some stuff, and we were both feeling a little lonely, so, we started drinking. Then we started laughing and talking about the good old days, and he was wearing an Obama T-shirt, and I just miss Obama so much.
Cheyenne: Wow, it's like, thanks, Obama.
Dina: Funny to think I was the one who was freaking out before. You know what? It doesn't matter.

Garrett: Guys, come on, it's just an envelope. It's got to be somewhere.
Marcus: Oh, look. I found my retainer. Oh. Ah, it doesn't fit. My teeth must have shifted.

Mateo: What is he wearing?
Jonah: Looks like hiking gear. I'll say something to him.
Mateo: Yes, but remember. Bad cop, good cop.
Jonah: I've done plays.

Jonah: Hey, here's a question: how are you gonna pay for all that without a job?
Jeff: Uh, I have savings.
Mateo: Well, he's a grown man. He can spend his money how he wants.
Jonah: Yeah, well, he's just gonna blow through all those savings before you know it, and then what, huh? You just gonna be a bum?
Jeff: Uh, I don't think I'm gonna be a bum...
Jonah: Okay, you know what? I think it's time I drop a little truth bomb on you, okay? You're a grown man. You're too young to retire, and you're way too old to start mountain climbing, or whatever this is, so snap out of it, okay, bub? Grow up, get a job, and be a man. Kapow! Truth bomb!
Mateo: Who the hell are you to talk to him that way? He is more man than you'll ever be.
Jonah: What?
Mateo: If we're talking about truth bombs, well, take shelter, 'cause I'm about to make it rain.

Amy: [leaving a message] Hey, Adam, it's Amy. Um, give me a call. I have a story to tell you. It's kind of a long story. That ends with a baby. Our baby. Nope, re-record. [records] Hey Adam, who has two thumbs and your baby inside of her? Nope. [again] Hey, baby! No. [again] If you want to split Emma's tap shoes with me, you can just Venmo me the cash, but again, the pregnancy was the main point of the call. [again] So remember that phrase, just once for old times' sake? Ugh, what are you doing? [again] Just call me, okay? We need to talk. I have to tell you that it is... [Sandra walks by] Cinco de Mayo Eve. Arriba.
Sandra: Hey, Amy, which of these looks most like a baby?
Amy: Um, they're all bad.

Mateo: Or how about we talk about your girl, Kelly, for a sec? With her fortune teller sleeves and her Dallas eye shadow?
Jonah: Okay, I think we've gotten a little off topic.

Glenn: Oh, hey, Amy. I need your advice.
Amy: Yeah, right now's not the best time...
Glenn: Yeah, I want to surprise Jerusha with some baby stuff at the party that can work for a boy or girl. Are bottles too wiener-shaped?
Amy: I... yeah, I don't know, maybe, sure.
Glenn: Okay. God, there's so much stuff, it's overwhelming.
Amy: Yeah, it's a lot.
Glenn: It's very overwhelming. You got your wub-a-nub, cribs, a infant carrier, wipe warmers... What is this kid, the Queen of England?

Glenn: Enough waiting! [cuts cake]
Jerusha: It's white. What does that mean?
Cheyenne: Maybe you guys are having a white baby.
Marcus: That's awesome. Congratulations!

Sandra: Garrett said that he was gonna take care of the gender reveal, so we just got a regular cake. I made the melon baby.
Glenn: Garrett, what is it?
Garrett: Uh, I don't know.
Glenn: What?
Garrett: I mean, I... I mean, I don't know. You don't know. The doctor doesn't even know. I mean, what is gender, anyway, right? It's just a construct. I mean, look around. We got a football, you got ballet. You guys are writing this baby's code before it even comes out! You're perpetuating gender stereotypes! How about we let this kid figure out its own gender? [scoffs] You guys should be ashamed of yourselves.