Nurse Roberts: [to J.D.] What was that about? You're right, I'm sorry. I've been working really hard the past few months on not being such a busybody.
Carla: So tell me, Turk, was she a good kisser?
Nurse Roberts: Excuse me. [wheels down to Carla]

J.D.: [v.o.] Maybe you're breaking in your new Italian shoes.
Ted: Sir, those shoes look a little small for you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Or break down the spirit of your whipping boy.
Dr. Kelso: What do you know about appearances, Ted? Have you looked in the mirror?
Ted: Not lately. But when I do, it's reflection perfection.

Jamie: J.D., I'm so happy you came.
J.D.: Well, you look fantastic. And, you know, I don't mean, "Hey, dude, check out that hot biddy at the bar" fantastic. I'm talking about "I'm sorry for your loss" fantastic.
Jamie: Do you wanna grab a drink?
J.D.: Yeah, let's get the hell outta here.
Jamie: Oh, I was actually talking about him.
J.D.: Oh, yeah, I know. So was I. [takes drink, sips]
Jamie: No, you have to order. He's bussing those.
J.D.: [spits up] Somebody's a smoker.

Carla: Aw, look at my baby sleep. Isn't he an angel? I wonder what's going on in that shiny head of his.
[dream: Turk is shirtless on a surgical bed as Elliot, in a slutty nurse costume, climbs on top of him:]
Elliot: This will only hurt a little.
Turk: OK.

Jamie: Thanks again for coming.
J.D.: [v.o.] Just get out without doing any more damage.
J.D.: I had a blast.
J.D.: [v.o.] Nice job.
Jamie: Goodbye.
J.D.: I'll see you.
[J.D. and Jamie start kissing in a closet; Turk and Elliot kiss in his dream before he wakes up; montage:]
Turk: [yells]
Ted: [yells]
Janitor: [yells]
Dr. Kelso: [yells]
Ted: [yells]
Nurse Roberts: [yells]
Todd: [yells, farts]
Jamie: [moans]
J.D.: Oh, I'm sorry, everyone. I dropped something on my toe. [moans] You know. Carry on.

Dr. Cox: You know what, you're right. Skip Jack altogether and go with whatever you think. Whatever makes you comfortable.
[later:]
Dr. Cox: Jack, Jack, Jack... Nothing, huh? My God, this is so boring.

Carla: Between my list of family and friends and your list of family and friends, we have, like, 400 people coming to this wedding. How are we going to cut this down?
Elliot: Out of curiosity, whose list did I end up on, yours or Turk's?
Carla: Erm... Mine.
Elliot: Let me see.
Carla: Nope. I gotta go.

Turk: I sort of had a sex dream about you.
Elliot: Really?
Turk: Yeah.
Elliot: Was I the girl?
Turk: Yeah, you were the girl. Can you just do me a favor, though? Don't tell Carla about this. Because she'll just get all jealous and disgusted.
Elliot: But we haven't done anything for her to be disgusted by.
Turk: Oh, yeah, we did.

Turk: Hey, baby.
Carla: So how's it work? You get to spend all night fantasizing about vanilla wafer here and I get whatever "Hey, baby" you throw my way? Forget it.
Turk: What the hell, Elliot?
Elliot: It slipped out. I'm sorry.
Turk: Sorry's not good enough.
Elliot: You're right. [turns around] Oh... [Turk spans her] Harder, dammit. I've been bad.
[present:]
Surgeon: Dr. Turk. Do you have a question?
Turk: No, sir.

Turk: Dude, I'm freaking out. I can't stop having sex dreams about Elliot.
Todd: Boing. All done. Continue.
Turk: Every time I close my eyes, she's doing something kinky. Very, very kinky.
[The patient's eyebrows twitch]