J.D. Quote #410

Quote from J.D. in My Interpretation

Jamie: J.D., I'm so happy you came.
J.D.: Well, you look fantastic. And, you know, I don't mean, "Hey, dude, check out that hot biddy at the bar" fantastic. I'm talking about "I'm sorry for your loss" fantastic.
Jamie: Do you wanna grab a drink?
J.D.: Yeah, let's get the hell outta here.
Jamie: Oh, I was actually talking about him.
J.D.: Oh, yeah, I know. So was I. [takes drink, sips]
Jamie: No, you have to order. He's bussing those.
J.D.: [spits up] Somebody's a smoker.

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 ‘My Interpretation’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: Okay, I still wanna refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign to me.
Janitor: Benign... Benign-and-a-half.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: Look... Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with you. I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
J.D.: Last night, when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
J.D.: Oh, I was outside in the bushes. Look, it was just a coincidence, man. If you had looked out the window you would have seen my penis.
Janitor: What?! Why?!
J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours.

Quote from Ted

Carla: If you're having dreams about another woman, maybe you're not ready for marriage.
Turk: Baby.
Carla: Just take it. Are you crazy? Baby, it was only a sex dream. Everybody has them. Right, Ted?
Ted: Oh, no, not me. I just have the one dream over and over. I hold his head under the water till the last bubble goes bloop.
Dr. Kelso: Ted. What's the ETA on those Double Stufs?
Ted: Bloop.