Paul: Please just tell me what she said.
Nick: She said the sex is really great, but she just doesn't want to jump into anything. Why am I talking about this?
Paul: Oh, my God, the sex is great, it's amazing. Great. We had amazing sex this morning, and then we ate Taro chips.

Paul: Jess and I slept together.
Jess: Oh, God.
Jenn: What?
Paul: I want to be completely honest with you. It happened two days ago, and we did lots of stuff. There was talking, and there were hands, and I think we ruined a throw pillow.

Jess: I'm so sorry, Paul.
Paul: [wearing a space blanket] Oh, it was so fun. I had a great time.

Jess: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Paul: Well, I always spend it with my grandmother...
Jess: That's so nice.
Paul: But she just died.
Jess: Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. That's terrible. When?
Paul: Well, it was about a month ago. It was while I was writing the Halloween madrigal.
Jess: No wonder it was so deep.
[flashback:]
Singers: What's it all about? Is there any point? Do we start dying the moment we are born...?

Paul: Oh, intermission.
Nick: No, it's halftime.
Paul: It's parade time. It's robot turkey. You know, it was Grandma's favorite. We used to love watching the parade together. She was the best. Check it out. Here she is. Here's the lady.
Jess: Oh, she's beautiful!
Paul: Yeah. We used to get in the funniest arm-wrestling matches.

Jess: Hey, Schmidt, how's it going?
Schmidt: Well, I need some walnuts. I have no walnuts.
Paul: I should go get those. You should stay here with the turkey. Though, shoot. I have had two pumpkin ales. I probably shouldn't get behind the wheel of a car.
Jess: Nick, how many pumpkin ales have you had?
Nick: Oh, I've had zero pumpkin ale.

Paul: [singing softly] Getting some walnuts, getting some walnuts.
Nick: I'm sorry, man, are you singing about what we're doing?
Paul: Yeah, guess I was. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. Where are you from?
Nick: Chicago.
Paul: Oh, land of plenty. It's weird being in L.A. It doesn't feel like Thanksgiving. It feels like there should be, like, a little nip in the air, you know? A little bit like...
Nick: Yeah, totally.
Paul: ...an autumn crisp.

Paul: Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, we can still do this. What are you guys doing? I have been dying to try that food you've been cooking all day. You've been slaving away in there. What's your name again?
Schmidt: Schmidt.
Paul: Right.
Schmidt: You know, it's my last name.
Paul: Well, my last name is Genzlinger, and I'd like to eat the food that you've been making all day, Schmidt.
Schmidt: Yeah, all right. Genzlinger.
Winston: I'm with Genzlinger.

Jess: I have an idea! Let's go next door. Mrs. Beverly's really great. She's visiting her sister, but she gave me her spare key for emergencies.
Nick: So we're breaking and entering. That's a felony, FYI.
Paul: Hey, law school! Nice!
Jess: No, we're not breaking in. I gave her a key to our place, too. She sometimes has a problem with her shower.

Paul: This may be none of my business, but I-I-I really have to ask you: Did anything happen between you and Nick? Like, did you guys go out, or ...
Jess: What?
Paul: 'Cause I, I really don't want to get in the middle of anything.
Jess: No. No. No, no, no, no. No.
Paul: Good. Because I really want to see you again. Big-time. [Jess laughs]