Russell: Why don't you tell me what happened?
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas, and we got drunk.
Russell: I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel whose name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Ross: Yes, yes, yes. But I do not love her.
Russell: Oh. That's better then.
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake, and I need to get it annulled.
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Ross: Easy.
Russell: And we will need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of sound mind.
Ross: No problem.
Russell: And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross: Ooh. There's no way to do this without her? Because I kind of already told her it was taken care of.
Russell: Of course you did. Look, Ross, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross: Uh-huh. What about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy.

Rachel: The bottom line, Ross, is we cannot stay married.
Ross: I don't know if that's true.
Rachel: Oh, but it is.
Ross: Okay. You know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage-
Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on. This is not a marriage. This is the world's worst hangover!

Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, so I'm in my map...

Chandler: How do you feel?
Erica: I'm tired.
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?
Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute.
Monica: We only ordered one!

Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Ross: Okay. After you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead but it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but it was amazing. And now- Now, I find out that you kissed her first.
Chandler: Wait, what bed did you say she was on?
Ross: Mine.
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Monica: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross: No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats!

Ross: I'm just saying. If you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself.
Ross: When have you ever?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished.
Ross: Well, certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl soup.
Rachel: Please, you inhale your food.
Ross: I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!

Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.

Judy Geller: Chandler, you've been Ross' best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems, and now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.
Chandler: Thank you.
Jack Geller: No. Thank you!

Russell: You got married again?
Ross: Yes.
Russell: So that's your second marriage in two years?
Ross: Yes. Second in two years. Third, overall.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never have I had so much business from one client.

Joey: Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle. Guess what? I got the lead in a movie.
Chandler: You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing. What's the movie about?
Joey: It's called Shutterspeed. It's really cool. Yeah, um, I meet this girl on the subway and we fall in love in, like, a day, right. And then she disappears. But I find out where she lives. And when I get there, this, like, old lady answers the door. And I say, "Where's Betsy?", right. And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Phoebe: Ooh. Chilling.