Adult Chris: [v.o.] With Ms. Morello gone, we had every kind of substitute imaginable. We had out-of-work actors...
Man: "To be or not to be. That is the question."
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We had out-of-work dancers...
Woman: [dances] Can one of you kids get that bucket of water and throw it on me?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And, sometimes, we had out-of-work teachers.
Man: [smoking and drinking] Enjoy this while you still can, 'cause, believe me, it's all downhill from here.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] We'd had just about every type of sub we could think of except one... A Black sub.

Chris: B-. All right!
Mr. Newton: You're happy with this grade?
Chris: Yeah, I usually don't do this well in math.
Mr. Newton: Really? Do you know who Sam Graddy is?
Chris: No.
Mr. Newton: Sam Graddy finished second behind Carl Lewis in the 100-meter dash at the Summer Olympics.
Chris: So?
Mr. Newton: Sam Graddy is the second-fastest man alive and it doesn't mean a damn thing. Sam Graddy doesn't have a Wheaties box, no shoe endorsement, no Sam Graddy running shorts; not even a pair of Sam Graddy socks. Sam Graddy couldn't even get his own name on his driver's license. They gave him one that says "Carl Lewis." B-.
Chris: Wait, what are you doing?
Mr. Newton: B-... F. All the same.
Chris: No, no, no, it's not. One's a pass and one's a fail.
Mr. Newton: Not for you.

Mr. Newton: You think I'm sitting here because of making B-minuses?
Chris: No, I think you're sitting here because my real teacher is gone.
Mr. Newton: You getting smart?
Chris: Is that a trick question? [Mr. Newton reaches into his satchel]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He's got a gun.
Mr. Newton: My resume.
Chris: Harvard, Stanford, Oxford.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Mumford.
Chris: So if you're so smart, why are you still substitute teaching?
Mr. Newton: Because, every now and then, I need someone who needs me. And, Chris, that someone is you. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to get some brains into that head of yours.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I'm going to put a brick upside that head of yours.
Mr. Newton: You keep that resume as a reminder.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Nothing made Drew unwind better than watching hockey, and nothing could wind him up quicker than Tonya.
Drew: I'm watching hockey.
Tonya: Simon and Simon is on.
Drew: Well, too bad. I was here first. [Drew bats Tonya's hand away as she tries to grab the remote] Stop.
Tonya: Ma, Drew hit me!
Drew: What are you talking about? I barely touched you.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Mr. Omar was dialing his number, I was trying to make sense of Mr. Newton's numbers.
Mr. Newton: Chris, algebraic equations use mathematical statements to describe the relationship between things that vary over time.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like, X means I'm confused.
Chris: I still don't understand.
Mr. Newton: Exactly. That's algebra: the math of the unknown.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Well, I must be doing great, because I don't know it.

[fantasy: Mr. Newton is wearing a military uniform as he sprays Chris with a hose:]
Mr. Newton: Is a B-minus all right?!
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you want to learn?!
Chris: Yes, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you want to quit?!
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: You want to go to another school?!
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Why?!
Chris: 'Cause I have no other place to go!
Mr. Newton: Then you better answer my question: What's A squared plus B squared?
Chris: C squared.
Mr. Newton: I can't hear you!
Chris: C squared. It's C squared.
Mr. Newton: That's right. That's what I'm talking about.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was the worst wet T-shirt contest ever.

Greg: Hey, man, what's going on with you? You look a mess. And how long is he going to make you wear that shirt?
Chris: I don't know. Probably until I get an A or until he leaves.
Greg: Well, he's only got about another week.
Mr. Newton: Class, I just wanted to let you all know that I've accepted a permanent position here at Corleone.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And that position is in my behind.

Tonya: [turns TV on as Drew reads] Mom, Drew's watching TV.
Rochelle: Didn't I tell you no TV?
Drew: I was reading. I didn't even turn it on.
Rochelle: I don't care who turned it on. Now go to your room.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tonya got more people in trouble than a White girl at an NBA after-party.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father already had two jobs when he took on a third: Mr. Omar's receptionist.
Julius: [answers phone] Mr. Omar? Yeah, I guess I can get him for you. Hold on.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at school, I was holding on, too.
Mr. Newton: Just a reminder that, next week, I will be conducting practice exams for the statewide scholastic test.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The exam he's talking about was critically important.
Greg: This exam is critically important.
Mr. Newton: This exam is critically important. So I advise all of you to study hard. Especially you, Chris.