Chris Quote #234
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates the Substitute
Chris: B-. All right!
Mr. Newton: You're happy with this grade?
Chris: Yeah, I usually don't do this well in math.
Mr. Newton: Really? Do you know who Sam Graddy is?
Chris: No.
Mr. Newton: Sam Graddy finished second behind Carl Lewis in the 100-meter dash at the Summer Olympics.
Chris: So?
Mr. Newton: Sam Graddy is the second-fastest man alive and it doesn't mean a damn thing. Sam Graddy doesn't have a Wheaties box, no shoe endorsement, no Sam Graddy running shorts; not even a pair of Sam Graddy socks. Sam Graddy couldn't even get his own name on his driver's license. They gave him one that says "Carl Lewis." B-.
Chris: Wait, what are you doing?
Mr. Newton: B-... F. All the same.
Chris: No, no, no, it's not. One's a pass and one's a fail.
Mr. Newton: Not for you.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Substitute’ Quotes
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Chris, I love your shirt. What does it stand for?
Chris: B-.
Ms. Morello: Oh! B-. I love that Black street slang. So what else did I miss around here?
Greg: Well, we were supposed to have a practice test on the statewide exam today.
Ms. Morello: Oh, forget about that test. I want to show you the gifts I brought back.
Greg: Gifts?
Ms. Morello: For you, I brought back a shield and a spear.
Chris: What did you get me? What is that?
Ms. Morello: It's a bone. For your nose, silly. By the way, do you know a guy named Induku?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Actually, I did, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
Quote from Ms. Morello
Chris: Ms. Morello?
Ms. Morello: Oh, Chris, you're still here. I was so afraid the system would have brought you down by now.
Greg: We thought you were in Africa.
Ms. Morello: I was, but there was a civil war.
Greg: A war?
Ms. Morello: Fortunately, they found a way for all the White people to get out.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same thing happened in New Orleans.
Quote from Mr. Omar
Mr. Omar: [on the phone] He fell down the elevator shaft? Tragic.
Julius: Excuse me, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Hold on, Mr. Julius.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, he wanted to hold on, all right.
[fantasy: Julius is strangling Mr. Omar with the telephone cord:]
Julius: Oh, I'm holding on now. Now, who you gonna call?
Mr. Omar: Let go. Tragic. Tragic.
[reality:]
Julius: I need to make a call.
Mr. Omar: I'm almost off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He better be, because it's almost on.
Mr. Omar: [chuckles] That's what he here for.