Chris Quote #238
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates the Substitute
[fantasy: Mr. Newton is wearing a military uniform as he sprays Chris with a hose:]
Mr. Newton: Is a B-minus all right?!
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you want to learn?!
Chris: Yes, sir!
Mr. Newton: Do you want to quit?!
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: You want to go to another school?!
Chris: No, sir!
Mr. Newton: Why?!
Chris: 'Cause I have no other place to go!
Mr. Newton: Then you better answer my question: What's A squared plus B squared?
Chris: C squared.
Mr. Newton: I can't hear you!
Chris: C squared. It's C squared.
Mr. Newton: That's right. That's what I'm talking about.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was the worst wet T-shirt contest ever.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Substitute’ Quotes
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Chris, I love your shirt. What does it stand for?
Chris: B-.
Ms. Morello: Oh! B-. I love that Black street slang. So what else did I miss around here?
Greg: Well, we were supposed to have a practice test on the statewide exam today.
Ms. Morello: Oh, forget about that test. I want to show you the gifts I brought back.
Greg: Gifts?
Ms. Morello: For you, I brought back a shield and a spear.
Chris: What did you get me? What is that?
Ms. Morello: It's a bone. For your nose, silly. By the way, do you know a guy named Induku?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Actually, I did, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
Quote from Ms. Morello
Chris: Ms. Morello?
Ms. Morello: Oh, Chris, you're still here. I was so afraid the system would have brought you down by now.
Greg: We thought you were in Africa.
Ms. Morello: I was, but there was a civil war.
Greg: A war?
Ms. Morello: Fortunately, they found a way for all the White people to get out.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same thing happened in New Orleans.
Quote from Mr. Omar
Mr. Omar: [on the phone] He fell down the elevator shaft? Tragic.
Julius: Excuse me, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Hold on, Mr. Julius.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, he wanted to hold on, all right.
[fantasy: Julius is strangling Mr. Omar with the telephone cord:]
Julius: Oh, I'm holding on now. Now, who you gonna call?
Mr. Omar: Let go. Tragic. Tragic.
[reality:]
Julius: I need to make a call.
Mr. Omar: I'm almost off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He better be, because it's almost on.
Mr. Omar: [chuckles] That's what he here for.