Joe: He is innocent.
Mary: Come on, Da! This is pretty damning evidence.
Joe: Aye, you're right. It is that.
Gerry: Praise the Lord.
Joe: Well, Seamus, looks like there's only one thing for it.
Gerry: Yeah.
Joe: We're gonna have to get rid of the body.
Gerry: Excuse me?
Joe: Mm.

Gerry: God love him.
Joe: Don't be soft, Gerry. It was him or us.
Dennis: That's just not true, is it, Joe?
Joe: Right, you take his legs, I'll take his... legs.
Gerry: Grand, so.

Mary: Hot water's gone again.
Joe: That bloody boiler!
Mary: We'll have to ring the plumber.
Erin: Mother, have you seen my fountain pen?
Aunt Sarah: We're talking about free make-up here, Mary.
Mary: The plumber? The number's in my wee address book, Da.
Joe: I'm sick saying we need a new boiler.
Erin: Mammy, my fountain pen...
Gerry: We can't afford a new boiler.
Joe: Tight hole!

Joe: Christ, but you're a fine looking specimen.
Gabriel: Thank you.

Mary: I'll take Gabriel up a cup of tea.
Gerry: I think he's probably grand, seeing as it's only about 60 seconds since you brought him up the last one.
Joe: He's such a civil fella, isn't he?
Gerry: Oh, he's great altogether.
Joe: You could have bagged yourself a man like that, love.
Mary: Wise up, Daddy. Hardly.
Joe: It's true. Never understand why you settled for thon thing.

Mary: You'll take a cup of tea before you go?
Gerry: I'm sure the man has places to be, Mary.
Gabriel: Ah, if you're making one.
Aunt Sarah: Mary tells us you've just moved here, Gabriel.
Gabriel: Yeah, that's right. I'm from Kildare originally.
Joe: Very sorry to hear that, son.
Gabriel: Thank you.

Gerry: I don't understand why you wouldn't just tell me.
Joe: Why the hell should she have to tell you?
Mary: Da, please!
Joe: The fella's a control freak, Mary. Is it any wonder you had an affair?

Gerry: Thought I was going to drop dead there at one point.
Joe: Aye, if only.

Gerry: Are you a woman?
Joe: What kind of a bloody question is that? Smart hole.
Gerry: OK, you seem to have a bit of a problem grasping the concept here, Joe.
Joe: I'll tell you what I'll not have trouble grasping. Your neck.
Mary: Ach, isn't this lovely?

Gerry: Who was that?
Mary: No idea.
Aunt Sarah: Don't know her from Adam.
Gerry: So why did you pretend that you did?
Aunt Sarah: We could hardly break the girl, Gerry.
Joe: That's the trouble with you Dubliners. You've no manners.
Gerry: I'm not from Dublin, Joe.
Joe: Is he not?
Gerry: I'm from Navan.
Joe: Sure that's worse.
Gerry: How is that worse?
Joe: I don't know, but it's not better.