James: Look, I'm fine, I think.
Erin: You think?
James: I saw the tunnel, girls.
Clare: What, the tunnel?
James: Only, it was made of trees. Hundreds of trees that had overgrown and intertwined... and I could just about make out a light in the distance, and then a voice, as if from nowhere, a voice told me to walk towards it. "Walk towards the light," it said.
Michelle: Here, I'm absolutely starving.
Clare: Me too.
Erin: Aye, I could eat, you know.
Orla: Shall we have a hoke in the kitchen, then?
Clare: Sounds good.

James: What terrified me most was all the things I hadn't done, and all the things I hadn't said because I'd been too scared, or... or too nervous. A-A-And...
Erin: Are you all right?
James: I like me, Erin.
Erin: Sorry?
James: You. Shit. You. I-I... I like you, Erin. I think I've liked you for a long time, and I don't expect you to say anything, I just....I just want you to know that I... I think you're beautiful. Anyway, I just thought I'd... Sorry. [Erin kisses James]
Michelle: What the actual fuck?!

Michelle: Oh, you sick, sick bastards.
Erin: Listen, Michelle...
Michelle: This is incest!
James: No, it's not.
Michelle: Yes, it is, James.
James: We're not related.
Michelle: Oh, and that makes it OK, I suppose?
James: Well, it makes it not incest.
Michelle: Right, OK. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, and say that that head injury was much worse than what we thought, and you are temporarily possessed by whatever evil spirit is rattling about this joint, which has caused you to lose the absolute fucking run of yourself.
James: This is none of your business, Michelle.
Michelle: Oh, but it is, fuck features. It is very much my business. This can't happen. OK? You two can't get together, because, putting aside the fact that it makes me want to boke my actual ring up, if you get together, you'll break up, and then where does that leave me, Erin? You might be my best friend but he's my cousin, and dickhead or not, I'll have to stick with him. Don't put me in that position.

James: Giftbags to the value of £20.
Michelle: Seriously?
James: A selection of...
Erin: Stop reading, James! Jesus Christ, this is practically the Oscars. Our party doesn't stand a chance.
James: That's not true, Erin.
Michelle: And you've something that Jenny Joyce doesn't have.
Erin: Integrity.
Michelle: What? No.
James: Yeah, you don't have integrity, Erin.

James: I mean, it's based on a true story! I mean, how have you never seen it, Thomas? How, Thomas? How?
Erin: Hello, James! Well, isn't this nice?
James: Erin.
Erin: Who's this? Your new friend?
Tomas: No, no, God, no. Jenny just sent me up here to collect glasses, and then he started shouting at me about a Jamaican bobsleigh team, and it's totes freaking me out, to be honest. And FYI, it's pronounced Tomas.

Sister Declan: Mr. Maguire, you have been warned. Do not ask me again.
James: This is disgraceful. I should have access to a lavatory. What about my civil rights?
Sister Declan: Corner.

Man: [o.s.] And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the President of the United States of America!
Orla: I see him! I see him!
Erin: You're facing the wrong way, Orla.
Orla: No, no, look, it's James!
James: [indistinct]
Michelle: What's he saying?
Clare: I don't know.
James: I - am - a - Derry - Girl!
Man: [o.s.] A fucking prick is what you are!

James: Look, Bill doesn't even get here till four o'clock tomorrow.
Michelle: "Bill"? Who are you? His Ma?
James: We've got plenty of time, is all I'm saying.

James: OK. Right. OK. How do I do a new line again?
Michelle: [smoking] Return. Jesus, James. How many times?
James: Return.

James: Where's my mum, Auntie Deidre?
Deidre: She's away back to London.
James: What, without me?
Deidre: Oh, dry your eyes, James.