Erin: How could you, Mammy? I wanted to be the first person in our family to go to university, and now you're absolutely stealing my thunder.
James: Really, Erin?

Mary: Don't be asking to go on that ghost train? Do you hear me? You'll be all Billy big balls at the time, but I'll have to deal with the fallout at three o'clock in the morning when you wake up screaming and crying about some fella with no head.
Orla: Oh, I love the fella with no head.
Joe: The fella with no head is the best bit.
Erin: I just wasn't expecting the fella with no head. But now that I'm prepared for the fella with no head.
Mary: I don't want to hear about it, Erin. I just want to get on that train, sit down, have a cup of tea and relax.

Erin: The golden sands of Benone, the crashing of the Atlantic, the wildlife, the mountains, the birdsong. Well, what's any of this without Clare?
Michelle: She hasn't snuffed it, Erin.
James: Yeah, I'm sure she'll get the next train.
Erin: And make the journey all alone because we abandoned her, because we left her behind, and I for one will never forgive myself for that.
Orla: Here comes the snack trolley.
Erin: Oh, happy days.

Erin: Look, my cousin isn't all there, you know, brain-wise.
Fra: Oh, really? Because she told me she got better grades in her GCSEs than you did. So.
Erin: She didn't get better grades. You didn't get better grades than me, we got the same grades. I tried to have hers disputed because...
James: Let's keep on track here, Erin.

Sheila: Chonaic me an diabhal amhain.
Clare: What's she saying?
Sheila: [Irish exclamation] Chonaic me an diabhal amhain! [Irish exclamation]
Michelle: Just drive, James.
Sheila: Slan!
Erin: Slan!

Erin: Who's the President of New Zealand?
James: I don't know that. Do you know that?
Erin: No.

James: Listen, Erin... something changed when I was standing at the end of that tunnel. Something shifted.
Erin: What tunnel?
James: You know, yesterday. The tunnel, the light, the voice, the brush with death.
Erin: Oh, aye, sorry. Go on.
James: What terrified me most was all the things I hadn't done.
Erin: Like a hot-air balloon.
James: What?
Erin: Well, I remember you always banging on about how much you wanted to go on a hot-air balloon, but I always thought that that was really...
James: Yeah, I looked into it, but it was so expensive.
Erin: Really? How much?
James: Could I just finish my point?
Erin: Fine.

Erin: We got it!
Mary: Brilliant, let's hear it.
Erin: So, if you were to jump up and down on the spot for an hour straight you'd burn 500 calories.
Mary: How much weight is that?
Erin: So, there is six hours until the reunion starts, you'll need an hour or so to get ready...
Aunt Sarah: An hour? That wean's not well.
Erin: ..which leaves... five hours? So, 500 calories by five hours...
Mary: Is how much weight?
Erin: 500 times five...
Orla: What are we doing, Erin?
Mary: Cut to the chase, girls! How many pounds can we lose?
Erin: Almost one.
Mary: Almost one?! Is that it? Are you sure?
Orla: The numbers never lie, Aunt Mary.

Clare: We really need to decide on our costumes, girls. Time is ticking. Poundstretcher has already run out of glitter.
Michelle: Fuck off!
Erin: I was thinking of angels, you know, like Claire Danes in Romeo and Juliet.
Clare: I like it. Simple, classic.
Michelle: And I can wear my white hot pants, which show just the right amount of arse cheek.
James: Oh, that's decided, then.

Orla: Look, I'd be willing to settle for gorillas.
Erin: But they're just big monkeys, Orla! This is a disaster. We haven't even got a band.
Orla: We wanted The Commitments.
Mary: The Commitments? Seriously?!
Erin: The Commitment. One of them has gone solo.
Gerry: Which one?
Erin: The one from Derry with the dark hair. But we can't afford her, and even if we could, she's booked up until next year.
Mary: I'm not surprised. She's some voice on her.
Aunt Sarah: She's a walking instrument.
Joe: You put a bag over thon doll's head, you'd swear it was Tina Turner.
Erin: Well, at least the parish hall's sorted, I suppose.
Mary: Aye. Aye. Oh, God, aye, that's all sorted. Aye.