Barbara: [aside to camera] Dawn Nichols is the end-all be-all in the school supply game. An in with her could be the dawn of a new day at Abbott. I've had two plus one "math-a-ritas." [chuckles]

Melissa: I say we do one more lap. I really wasn't paying attention last time 'cause I was too distracted by how much my feet hurt.
Barbara: I have consulted with my fibula, and she is not doing another lap, and it is time for you to settle things with your sister.

Kristin Marie: Just as soon as Melissa admits she makes a terrible bragioli.
Melissa: What, are you kidding me? I've seen you put regular bacon in your carbonara, ya googootz.
Kristin Marie: It was a delicious American fusion dish.
Melissa: That's a lot of confidence for someone wearing last year's espadrilles.
Woman: Hey. Watch where you're going, clearance section.
Kristin Marie: Excuse me?
Woman: Oh, could you not hear me over your loud-ass outfit?
Melissa: Whoa! You throwing stones with those extensions? You look like you get your hair done at the mall.
Kristin Marie: In the parking lot.
Melissa: You show your hairdresser a picture of Beetlejuice and go, "Do that"?
Kristin Marie: Yeah, h-how many black eyes did Beetlejuice have again? Was it one or two?
Melissa: I forget.
Kristin Marie: Let's say two.
Melissa: Let's say two. [the woman scurries away] We still got it.
Kristin Marie: [chuckles] Yeah, we do.

Janine: [aside to camera] Like, when I hang up with my Internet provider after they finish helping me reset my Internet, and I say "Okay, I love you, bye," do I really love my Internet provider? No. 'Cause their network's unreliable, and I'm dating Maurice, so...

Hotel Employee: Hope you enjoyed your stay. We itemized your charges over the weekend for your review. Everything look correct for you, Ms... Teagues?
Ava: [smiles to camera] Gee, golly, it sure does.

Kristin Marie: Act natural.
Melissa: Why are you dressed like Inspector Gadget?
Kristin Marie: I am not. If anything, I'm Carmen Sandiego, and like her, I am not here. I heard some stuff at the conference this weekend.
Melissa: I didn't take that comforter, it fell into my bag.
Kristin Marie: No. Draemond Winding, Legendary Charter jabroni, is coming for Abbott.
Melissa: Wha... Who told you this?
Kristin Marie: It's PECSA weekend, people talk. He's set on turning youse guys' charter.
Melissa: Pssh. I've been looking for a good fight ever since my exterminator died. I'm ready.
Kristin Marie: Yeah, you better be. If Abbott goes charter, none of your jobs are safe. Nobody could know I was here.
Melissa: Okay.
Janine: Hey, Kristin Marie Schemmenti? Hey! What's up? [laughs] You know, I never realized how beautiful your name was. Kristin Marie Schemmenti. Kristin Marie Schemmenti! [chuckles] [Kristin mumbles and starts to walk away] Yeah, she's great. Bye, Kristin!

Ava: So this weekend was juicy. That's right. I got the tea and the cup.
Jacob: Ooh.
Ava: So I heard about a very interesting hookup this weekend involving someone in this very room. Someone that's a man. Involving a woman... Teacher. I heard someone made out. With Ms. Schwartz? Jacob, time to step up.
Jacob: Uh, wildly inaccurate, and I feel compelled to remind you that I am gay.
Ava: That is bisexual erasure. I expected better from you. And my intel specifically stated that she made out with some pasty white nerd. If not you, then who?

Amber: Okay. Oh, boy. Okay. So, um, I don't think we're on the same page... again.
Gregory: Well, I'm on page nine. Where you at?
Amber: Gregory, put the book away.
Gregory: It's not really a book, but okay.
Amber: I don't wanna do any of this.
Gregory: What do you want to do?
Amber: Nothing. I wanna do nothing.
Gregory: Okay. I hear you. I think I can schedule in some nothing time after the snow hike.
Amber: We need to talk.
Boy: [passing in the hallway] Damn.

Jacob: Sorry if we're jittery. We have been gunning kombucha since Conshohocken.
Melissa: Okay, well, act like you've been here before.
Barbara: Because you have.

Janine: Woo, man, I wish I had a Time-Turner, because like Aerosmith, I don't wanna miss a thang. Although I might need to miss this big party later.
Melissa: Oh, you're not missing PECSA-Geddon. Who's gonna watch our purses?
Barbara: The party is the one thang you don't wanna miss.
Janine: But I have to find time to see the Living Classroom, the one the Philadelphia Flower Show made.
Melissa: Cover me, Barb.
Barbara: Oh, all right.
Janine: So it's this classroom, and it's all made out of flowers.