Janine: This is so inconvenient, I can barely find a silver lining.
Gregory: You found one?
Janine: We're getting good exercise.
Gregory: It don't count if I don't got my FitBit on.

Jacob: Happy Halloween, Gregory. Or, uh [chuckles] should I say... Kareem Abdul-Jabbar from Airplane!?
Mr. Johnson: No, he's my friend Steve. You'll meet him.
Gregory: N-No, I'm Sully Sullenberger. [silence] Chesley Burnett Sullenberger? A.K.A. the pilot who landed the plane on the Hudson River?
Jacob: Ooh, ooh! Guess mine.
Gregory: The Hamburglar?
Mr. Johnson: Clearly, you're wage theft.
Jacob: Ah! Exactly! [thunder rumbles]
Gregory: So that's the costume you get?

Janine: Guess she has a thing for Kevin Hart in Soul Plane. [laughs]
Gregory: One, he did not play a pilot in that. Two, we, as a society, do not talk about Sully Sullenberger enough.
Janine: I'd say he's had his time.
Gregory: He landed an Airbus of people safely on a river!
Janine: Okay, I'm just saying that, as a pilot, like, half his job is landing, so he kind of was just doing his job.
Gregory: Wow.
Janine: Shouldn't have had a movie before Harriet Tubman.
Gregory: Tom Hanks can't play her. And I don't know why that's Mr. Sullenberger's problem. I will not rest until the world gives that man the respect that he deserves! [both laugh]

Gregory: Green light. [kids advance] Red light. [kids stop]
Jacob: Gregory. There you are, my guy. Hey, did you hear this whole thing about Chris in Ms. Williams' class, his mom?
Gregory: Green light. The lady with the lip ring?
Jacob: Yeah, she got arrested.
Gregory: What?! Red light. Go on. Oh, this is bonkers. Arrested for what?
Jacob: Mm. Protesting workplace conditions.
Gregory: Oh. Green light.
Jacob: No, no, no, no. It gets good. It was at that strip club, Virgo's.
Gregory: Red light.
Jacob: Well, technically, just outside the strip club.
Gregory: Yellow light. [kids move slowly forward]
Jacob: Red light. The cops throw her in the back of the car. One of them was her cousin, though, so I think they just drove her home.
Both: Green light.

Gregory: Guess you're not going out with him, then?
Janine: No. No. I'm probably gonna just go home and watch a movie.
Gregory: Jumanji?
Janine: It is my favorite. See you in the morning, Gregory.

Barbara: What is that?
Jacob: Oh, my God.
Barbara: A bone?
Jacob: From a person?
Melissa: Nope. [runs off]
Barbara: Ohh. Have mercy.
[aside to camera:]
Mr. Johnson: [holding a skeleton] [laughs] Got 'em. Wait. Was this the one I buried? Oh.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: It's a beef rib. [chuckles] Got 'em. Stay out of my garden.

Janine: Jacob is right. That Mr. Morton's got a real attitude. He will not put on another egg drop event.
Gregory: You know you can do an egg drop event without him, right?
Janine: That's not the point. Look, I've faced so many Mr. Mortons and there are so many Mr. Mortons in this world, and I want my kids to face them now. And I want to shield them with the best defense... Positivity.
Gregory: Janine, your kids are lucky to have a teacher who believes in them as much as you do. But maybe sometimes, possibly, you could come at it with, like, so much positivity that it's... toxic. Mr. Morton's science is just too advanced for them. Those are the facts.
Janine: Ugh! I know. I spiraled.
Gregory: Happens to all of us, but it happens to you a lot, huh?
Janine: So now I have to tell my kids that I messed up and that they can't do anything they put their minds to?
Gregory: It's the truth, and the truth is science. Isn't it our job to tell them the truth? [Janine nods] That was, like, a serious question. I-I haven't been here very long, I don't know the answer to that. Should I be lying more?

Gregory: It's a flier for my dad's landscaping company.
Janine: Aww. [stammers] Uh, is that your brother?
Gregory: No, I'm actually an only child, but apparently appearing to be a family business helps bring in customers.
Janine: That's... Sorry, so your... Your dad, he hired an actor to play his son instead of just asking you?
Gregory: Yeah.
Janine: I think I'm confused.
Gregory: You're not.

Barbara: Gregory.
Gregory: Hmm?
Barbara: Have you been secretly tending to the garden?
Gregory: Yes. [Barbara gasps]
Jacob: For how long?
Gregory: The entire time.
Barbara: But I planted the daffodils.
Gregory: You did. Just wrong. They were crowding each other out, so I had to replant them.
Martin Eddie: Look at you, showing a little initiative.

Jacob: Well... Well, what about the collard greens I planted?
Gregory: That was spinach, which is not an easy mistake to make.
Martin Eddie: Not tolerating incompetence. I like that.
Gregory: Thank you, Dad.