Frankie: [to the garbage men] Hey, could you move over?! We're kind of in a hurry here!
Dotty: We should be there already! We're gonna miss the quiz! I'm gonna get my first zero!
Frankie: Would you calm down, Dotty? It's middle school. You know, I read that schools test too much anyway. It's all just a race to nowhere.
Ella: We're all gonna get tardies now.
Dotty: We won't be able to go to the no-tardy party, and there's ice cream, and we get to wear a badge that says we're in the no-tardy club!
Frankie: Look, you're all gonna go to the no-tardy party, okay? I've got this covered. I can do it.
[As Frankie attempts to drive past the garbage truck, the car scrapes up against the wall and gets stuck.]
Frankie: Hey, lucky us. Looks like you got a couple extra minutes to study for that quiz, so...
[Dotty and Ella climb out the sunroof]
Frankie: You know, are you sure you want to... Ah, all right. Now, good luck on that quiz. And, hey, we don't have to tell your parents about this, right?

Mike: Hey, you know, uh... I was thinking about going to get a burger for dinner.
Sue: I'll go!
Mike: No, Sue. You don't have to volunteer. I was asking you if you want to go with me to dinner.
Sue: Oh, I get it. You mean you'll sit in the car while I run in and go get it.
Mike: No. I'm-- I'm asking you to dinner you, me, in a restaurant, just the two of us.
Sue: What's wrong? Is Mom sick? Are you sick? Is Grandma sick? Am I sick?!
Mike: Nobody's sick.
Sue: Oh, no! You and Mom are getting a divorce. I knew it. Are you ready for a younger woman?
Mike: God, no. She'd want kids. Look, Sue, nobody's sick, no divorces. I just want to grab a burger with you.
Sue: Really?!
Mike: Yeah.
Sue: Okay! [gasps] This is gonna be so much fun! But no potatoes. I am so over potatoes. [Mike hugs Sue]

Zoe: Axl, please. You're not making this easy. There's plenty of time for that later. We really got to study.
Axl: Hmm. Well, actually, I don't. Funny story... I'm not actually in this class. I only pretended to be to get to know you, so...
Zoe: What?
Axl: Romantic, right?
Zoe: Are you kidding me?! I only pretended to like you so you'd help me with the class!
Axl: What?! When we are done making out, we are so talking about this.
Axl: Oh, uh, hey. What are you doing?
Zoe: Leaving. I got to go find that Aaron guy. If I fail another class, my dad's gonna make me work at his tile store.
Axl: So you were just using me for my brain?! Well, joke's on you, 'cause I'm barely passing any of my classes! Wait. Do you have any hot friends you can tell about me?! Perhaps your small-bra'd roommate? I'm desperate!

Frankie: Have a good day at school.
Frankie: [v.o.] And I learned an important lesson, too if you're bad enough at something, they'll ask you not to do it anymore.
Frankie: [waves as the carpool drives off] Oh, crap. I'm late for work.

Mike: Where are you gonna put a bacon cheeseburger, onion rings, and a chocolate shake?
Sue: I'm starving! I missed lunch. There was a J-P-la emergency. New freshman transferred in from Muncie. Big transition for him.
Mike: Yeah. I can imagine. What exactly is this J-P-la thing that you do? Your mom has no idea.
Sue: Oh. It's awesome. I mentor the mentors who mentor the freshmen. We're actually doing an assembly on Tuesday about achieving teen excellence. And parents can come. I told Mom about it, and she's checking.
Mike: I'll go.
Sue: Really?!
Mike: Yeah.
Sue: That would be great! But, you know, I'm not just doing it for the assemblies. Yeah, I really do want to help people. But it will look good on the old college application.

Principal Barker: Once again, negotiations with the bus drivers have stalled. Those big whiners are still holding out for a living wage. But not to worry. We broke the janitors' union, and we will break these people, too. So, as of Monday, there will be no bus service, and in order to minimize inconvenience to me, we suggest forming carpools!
[As the parents start pairing off, Frankie is busy snacking]
Frankie: Wait, wait. What?
Principal Barker: Find somebody. Find anybody.
Parent #1: We're full! We're full!
Frankie: Hey-
Parent #2: Full!
Frankie: Oh, hey! There you are. I've been looking all over. So, Nancy, we carpool buddies, neighbor?
Nancy: What? Oh, I kind of already said I would with Bill.
Frankie: Oh, that's okay. Bill's cool with it. We're good friends. Right, Bill?
Bill: Uh...
Frankie: See? He's good with it. Hey, carpool! We got a carpool! [to another parent] Hey. Keep walking. We're full. Hey, hey!

Zoe: You were really on it today with that answer.
Axl: Well, yeah. Well, you know? Space... that's where everything's headed. Good to know about it.
Zoe: I mean, you really seemed to be knowledgeable, and I'm just dying in there. Ah, sorry. I've got my roommate's bra on, and she's, like, way smaller than me. [removes bra] Anyway, I'm so behind, and I was wondering, would you like to start a study group?
Hutch: Oh, uh, he's not even...
Axl: Yes, sure. Definitely. I love to study. And I especially like to do it in a group.
Zoe: Okay, great. We'll figure out the details after class tomorrow. This will be awesome. See you later.
Axl: Bye.
Hutch: Yeah. That sure will be awesome. But you do know you're not in this class?
Axl: Oh, I am now.

Frankie: Listen, this week's a little crazy, so Tuesday I'm gonna need you to pick Sue up from work.
Mike: Got it. Where's that again?
Frankie: Seriously, Mike? You don't know where your daughter works? I think that's sad.
Mike: I think you're sad.
Frankie: Well, we're all sad. That's a given. So, where does your daughter work?
Mike: I know it's potatoes, Frankie. We've been eating her funky potato rejects for weeks. I just don't know where it is.
Frankie: It's Spudsy Malone's at the mall, okay? And then after, she needs to go to her J-P-la meeting, so... Who's the jerk that keeps honking their car... [gasps] Crap! Brick! Carpool! Carpool! [shouts out the door] Hey, Nancy, we'll be right there. He's just tying his shoe. [shouts to Brick] Wake up!

Mike: Hey, hey, hey! Look at this!
Jim: Whoa. Are those IU basketball tickets?
Mike: Yeah. Four seats to the Michigan game. Corporate just sent them over to me for going six months without a workplace injury.
Jim: Well, what about when the salt from that pretzel slit my tongue?
Mike: You can submit forms all day, Jim. You're not getting workman's comp.
Jim: Sure. Make light. I still can't drink orange juice.

Jim: Hey, if you're looking for someone to go with you, I'm free.
Dave: Hold on. You're taking Jim?! I'm the one who usually gets injured around here! If anyone gets to go to the game with Mike, it should be me.
Mike: Look, guys...
Chuck: I invited you to Metal-Fest, Metal-Mania, Hedonism II in Jamaica. The Chuck's starting to think you don't want to hang out with the Chuck when all the Chuck has done is really just put himself out there, man.
Dave: Mike's old! He doesn't want to go to Metal-Fest! Besides, I'm the one that he usually does stuff with.
Jim: Well, that makes you a boss-hog.
Chuck: And a kiss-up.
Dave: He went to my church.
Jim: You know what? We're text-message buddies.
Chuck: ...a lot more chill at work.
Mike: Guys. Hey, guys, look, I'm not taking anybody from work, okay?
Jim: You know what? We may not have had a workplace injury, but we do have an internal one... [points to his heart] right here.