Eleanor: Oh, Chidi. There you are.
Chidi: I'm sorry. I should've told you. I decided to just stay home and read. Swimming in lakes scares me, and so does waterskiing.
Eleanor: We know all that, Chidi. We never expected you to meet the group at the lake house. We had a special solo activity planned for you.
Chidi: Really? What is it?
Eleanor: We have hidden several clues in this apartment to a puzzle.
Chidi: Ooh! I love puzzles! They're so much fun, but they're also like homework. Win-win.
Tahani: Well, this one's a doozy because when you solve it, you get the answer to the truth about the universe.
Eleanor: [chuckles] Spoiler alert, I guess. Hey, Tahani, you've been so helpful, but everyone's back at the lake house with no party hostess, which is obviously less than ideal. So go on. Get!

Shawn: Humans are worse than ever. We have to innovate. Sure, poking sticks work great, but should those sticks be sharper or hotter? Should they, counter intuitively, be less hot? Let's begin with slide number one of 7,000.
Michael: [applauds] Nice speech. Not! What's up, dingus?

Michael: And speaking of which, I figured DemonCon would be the best place to surprise you with my greatest invention. Come on out, Jason! [crowd cheers] I had the boys down in R&D make a Jason suit. I thought it'd be fun new way to torture Janet. Come on. Come on. Here you go.
Shawn: I didn't okay this.
Michael: I know, but hey, I'm Vicky. I'm a total munch.
Shawn: That you are. Good point. Hmm. Not bad. They went a little overboard on the cheekbones, but still. Wait, who's in there?
Michael: Glenn.
Shawn: Makes sense. Get an idiot to play an idiot. I was beginning to wonder where you were, Glenn.
Jason: I'm right here in... Jason. Definitely not a big bucket of goo.

Michael: Okay. Say, boss, what do you say we put these innovative suits of yours to work? We'll go torture Good Janet, and, uh, let you know how it goes. Which way is it again?
Shawn: Wait. I have a better idea. I say we torture Good Janet right here, right now live on stage. Rufus, go get the Good Janet.
Jason: [quietly] This part of your plan seems risky.
Michael: [quietly] This was not part of my plan.
Jason: Oh, thank God. I thought you had a bad plan.

Derek: Okay, it's easy. Just hit the button. You've seen Mindy do it a million times. Yeah. Here we go. [sobbing] No, no, no! Don't kill me, me. Don't do it! Huh. Now why is that so hard? I kinda... You know what? I see what I gotta do. Just kind of look at this... Derek! [hits plunger]

Eleanor: Dude, what were you thinking?
Tahani: I just wanted to be useful. All I ever get to do here is throw parties, which is all I ever got to do back on Earth. Now I've ruined everything.
Eleanor: No. You gave us a way out.
Tahani: So I fixed everything.
Eleanor: No, you've made things difficult in a new way, but I can make it work.
Tahani: Well, the important thing is, I did something.
Eleanor: Be quiet and follow my lead.
Tahani: Yes, ma'am.

Chidi: Okay! Am I close?
Eleanor: No, there's like 4,000 clues in here. You found five. I'm just gonna skip to the end. This puzzle was going to take you on adventures all over the neighborhood. Horseback riding, hot air ballooning, and I asked Tahani to be involved because she did all those things on Earth. You've been in paradise for a month, and you're still so reluctant to try new activities.
Chidi: Yeah, I know. I'm just not a "new experience" kind of guy. I mean, my comfort zone is basically, like, that chair, and honestly, the arms are a little sharp.
Eleanor: I want you to believe that you're safe here, that you can trust me. Do you trust me, Chidi?
Chidi: Yes. I really do.
Eleanor: Then come with me.

Shawn: These personalized skin suits are a true game changer. Imagine being able to torment a human not as yourself, but as their wife or ex-wife, or just some mouthy broad. They are so convincing, they even work on a Good Janet!

Janet: Ugh. Great, more Vicky. Hey, your Michael impression stinks almost as much as your suit. Pfft.
Michael: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Shawn: Welcome, Janet. We have a special guest for you today.
Jason: Hi, Janet, it's me. Jason. Your boyfriend. I really miss you. I know we were in a fight before, but I hope you've forgiven me because I love you, girl.
Janet: Not a girl.
Michael: Well, Janet...
Janet: Yeah?
Michael: How does that make you feel?
Janet: [cries] Terrible!

Shawn: Adequate work, Glenn. Rufus, take the Janet back to her cell.
Michael: No, no, no. Oh, no, please. Uh, let us take Janet back ourselves. I wanna get a little extra torture time in on the way there.
Shawn: I don't see why not.
Vicky: [in Michael suit] Hello, dummies! It's me, Michael! I'm just kidding. It's me, Vicky, in a Michael suit. What's going on here? I was never told that I had an understudy.