Barry: I am the clay, you are the sculptor. Mold me with your gentle giant sculptor hands.
Vic: It would be an honor. To be clear, you are asking me to teach you to ice dance?
Barry: Yes.
Vic: Let's not waste another minute.

Brea: I'm not ready to see you yet.
Adam: I get it. I seem like a scoundrel and a liar, and as much as I want to convince you that I didn't even know the kiss happened... which I didn't... I can't expect you to take my word for it. Brea, meet Allison Horowitz, the girl I kissed at NYU.
Brea: Oh! You brought the girl you kissed to my house?
Allison: Sup?
Adam: Allison is here to explain how meaningless the kiss was. Allison, you have the floor.
Allison: Yeah, it felt like nothing.
Adam: Thank you, Allison.
Allison: Like, either he wasn't into it, or he's just a really bad kisser.
Adam: Wasn't into it.
Allison: Just lifeless and sloppy.
Adam: Okay, we get the gist.

Allison: And don't worry, I have no feelings for him. I barely even remembered the kiss, and as soon as I did, I called my boyfriend and told him the whole thing.
Brea: So you told your boyfriend right away?
Allison: Of course. I'm not psycho.
Adam: I thought I vetted you in the car!

Brea: Adam waited a week to tell me, and only because of something he kept calling "even-stevens."
Adam: It's a common expression.
Allison: You waited a week? That's not cool.
Brea: I know, right?
Allison: Like, why would you wait? Did the kiss mean more to you than it did to me?
Adam: Oh, oh!
Brea: I thought the same thing.
Adam: No! And you're kind of losing the thread, Allison.
Brea: Well, this has been fun. Maybe next time you can bring that weird Princess Leia doll you keep by your bedside.
Adam: She's boxed for posterity. There's nothing going on there. [Brea slams the door] Ooh! My jacket is caught in the door.
Allison: Bye.

Beverly: This isn't "Disney on Ice."
Joanne: It's not. And maybe an abandoned parking lot should have clued you in a little earlier.
Beverly: Joanne, now is not the time for a poorly planned kidnapping attempt because you're jealous of my eternal youth.
Joanne: The blonde is in the building!

Beverly: Barry, what's this?
Barry: Your favorite child performing on frozen water for your delight.
Beverly: If I'm dreaming, don't wake me.
Bill Lewis: I didn't know why I was here, but now I'm very invested.
Vic: And now the student becomes the slightly better student. With that, Barry took to the ice. [Barr ygrunts] And despite his best efforts...
Barry: Charley horse! Charley horse! [grunts] [groaning]
Adult Adam: [v.o.] ...he still sucked.
Vic: I can't help but think I'm partially to blame for filling a young man's head with encouragement.

Beverly: Barry, are you okay?
Barry: No! I'm an idiot. This was supposed to be my big apology for not appreciating our time together.
Beverly: I'm the one who should apologize. I wasn't very nice to Joanne the other night. You must think I'm crazy.
Joanne: Hey, we're all a little crazy when it comes to loving Barry.
Barry: So much for your gift of my twirling body.
Beverly: I think I know what the problem is. You didn't have the right partner. [removes coat to reveal sequined dress]
Barry: Wait. Why are you wearing that?
Beverly: I've been wearing it since the opening ceremonies.
Joanne: Is this the world debut of Goldberg and Goldberg?
Beverly: You better believe it. Let me just put on my skates.
Vic: So you're dating that man?
Joanne: He's my one and only. And there he goes, intertwined with his mom.

Brea: You really don't quit, do you?
Adam: Not when it comes to you. Please just hear me out. No tricks this time, just the truth.
Brea: [sighs] Adam, there's nothing to say.
Adam: There is. Brea, I swear on my life, I didn't even know I kissed that girl until I saw it on video. It meant nothing, and I should have told you as soon as I found out. The fact that I didn't is one of the great regrets of my life.
Brea: I get it. We both made mistakes. You weren't wrong about that. It's just... The thing is I don't know... I don't know if I want to keep doing this.
Adam: Doing what?
Brea: This thing where I'm nervous all the time about what next year's gonna be like.
Adam: I'm sure it's gonna be hard at times, but we'll make it work.
Brea: Really? I mean, we couldn't even survive two weekends away. What... What's a full year gonna be like? What's four years gonna be like? Okay. I'll be the one to say it.
Adam: Whatever it is, please don't.
Brea: We need to break up.
Adam: I just said not to say it.
Brea: Just don't make this any harder than it already is, okay? Goodbye, Adam.

Erica: Well, I guess you were right. He should have followed your advice.
Geoff: Maybe. But I gotta ask. There aren't actually any, you know, secrets you've been keeping from me, are there?
Erica: Geoff, never. I just love my little brother. He's a great kid who had too much Jell-o. I just couldn't stand the thought of him getting hurt because of a dumb mistake.
Geoff: Because you want him to have what we have someday?
Erica: More than anything.