Hyde: Look, I cheated on Jackie, 'cause she cheated on me with you. Which reminds me, I ought to kick your ass.
Kelso: Well, Hyde, we weren't doing anything. I already told you. Jackie was comforting me, 'cause I was upset, 'cause Fez had a sex dream about me.
Hyde: Would you shut up about that lame-ass story?
Kelso: Well, it's the truth, and I'll prove it. Let's go ask Fez.
Hyde: Fine.
Kelso: You drive. My van's in the shop.
Hyde: Fine. I need gas though.
Kelso: Fine. Can I borrow money for fries?
Hyde: No.
Kelso: Fine. Shotgun.
Hyde: There's only two of us, you moron.
Kelso: Fine!

Fez: Oh, hello, Mitch. Had a nice walk over here? Get used to it because you'll never get a license. Do you understand me?
Mitch: No, but nobody understands you. You talk like Mushmouth from Fat Albert.
Fez: You just dug your own grave, fella.
Mitch: What? "I flug my own rave, bella"? Was that what you said, Mushmouth?

Kelso: All right, Fez. I need you to tell Hyde about the dream you had about me.
Fez: What? I didn't have any dream. [quietly] We have a visitor.
Kelso: Fez, this is really important, okay? Start talking, or so help me, I'll give you the worst purple nurple you've ever had.
Fez: Okay. In my dream, Kelso was dressed as a nurse and he was giving me a sponge bath.
Kelso: And?
Fez: I was nude.
Kelso: See? I was really freaked out and Jackie and me were just talking, that's all.
Hyde: So I just cheated on Jackie for nothing?
Kelso: It's what I've been telling you, man.

Mitch: You know, I really hate to run, but I gotta go tell the whole school about you and Nurse Ding-a-ling's sponge bath. So, I gotta go.
Fez: You wouldn't.
Mitch: "Blue blound't"? What? Move your lips, Mushmouth!

Bob: Hey, and for the reception, I got the guys back together from my high school band, the Pinciotti Polka Explosion.

Hyde: What?
Kelso: Nothing. Just, you know, Jackie's single now.
Hyde: Yeah, so?
Kelso: So, when you were going out with her, I backed off.
Hyde: You backed off? You constantly hit on her. You bought her presents all the time. You shot me with a BB gun.
Kelso: Yeah, that's me backing off. [sighs] Look, Hyde. I know you thought I only wanted her because you had her. See, the thing is, is now you don't have her and I still want her. So, as your friend, I'm just letting you know that I'm going after her. And also, I'll be making out with her in front of you. You know, just to rub it in. So, be ready for that.
Hyde: Whatever.
Kelso: Yep, that's what I'm counting on. While I'm out getting Jackie back, you're gonna sit around here saying, "Whatever." Are you listening to country music, man?
Hyde: Whatever.

Kitty: Oh, great plan, Red. Now my baby's leaving.
Laurie: I'm still here, Mommy.
Kitty: Yeah, well, that's nice.

Hyde: Hey. The thing is I'm really sorry.
Jackie: Yeah, you said that already.
Hyde: Come on, Jackie. I made a mistake, okay? It was a stupid one-time thing.
Jackie: You know what, Steven? I have heard it all before. From you, from Michael. God, just do me a favor and leave me alone.
Hyde: Whatever. Jackie, I love you.
Jackie: Yeah, well, I don't love you.

Fez: Here's your car license, motorcycle license, boat license, license to operate a forklift, a cut-the-line pass and a free D.M.V. pen. If you turn it over, the little car parallel parks.
Mitch: Oh. And here's the negatives of you and Kelso grabbing each other's asses.
Fez: Hey, we were happy because we caught a fish. If they do it in football, why can't we do it in fishing?
Mitch: "Blue bit bushball in bishing"? What? Where you from, man?