Eric: You know what I think, Donna? I think this whole "get married in a week" stuff is just Red trying to get us to call the whole thing off. Yeah. But you know what? That ain't happening, missy. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna teach Red a lesson and get married out of spite. Yeah, screw you, Red!
Donna: Wow. It's every little girl's dream to get married out of spite. You know what? I think maybe you're not ready to get married. And if you're not, you better tell me right now.
Eric: Donna, I'm not ready.
Donna: Oh, thank God. Me neither.
Eric: What? I thought you were ready.
Donna: I thought you were.
Eric: I'm not.
Donna: Me neither.
Eric: Oh, my God, you are so hot.
Donna: You are! [they kiss]

Jackie: So, I was in the den, and Michael came over all upset.
Hyde: Jackie.
Jackie: And, Steven, I asked him to leave. And that's when you saw us. But I swear, nothing happened.
Hyde: Jackie. Jackie, stop talking. Look, I know all this now, okay? But before I knew, I was at the hotel last night. And I was really mad. There was this nurse. And-
Jackie: And what?
Hyde: And I'm really sorry, okay? I promise it'll never happen again.
Jackie: You know, that's exactly what Michael used to say.
Hyde: Come on, Jackie.
Jackie: No. You know what, Steven? I'm sorry. It's over. [exits]
Hyde: [country music plays on radio] Huh. I finally get country music.

Kitty: Donna, look, it's my old wedding dress. Oh, and you can wear it... as a bib.

Red: Won't be long now until you two lovebirds are married forever. No escape. Until one of you is dead.

Laurie: So, you guys, I've been trying to think of ways to help you.
Eric: Okay. [shouts] Where's Laurie?
Donna: Yeah, what happened to you?
Laurie: You guys, living in Chicago opened my eyes. I had no job, no friends. I did sleep with one of the White Sox, but then it just turned out to be this frat guy wearing a White Sox hat. Basically, I hit rock bottom.
Eric: Really. God, I was so sure you'd be a senator.
Laurie: Eric, love is hard to find. And I've realized I've been taking the people who love me for granted. Especially you.
Eric: Oh, that's not true. I don't love you.
Laurie: Yes, you do. And if you two love each other, but Red is making you miserable then there's only one answer. Get out. Leave town. Because love is precious.
Eric: Well, it sounds good but I can't help but remember the feeling of being stung by bees as I tumbled around and around.
Donna: Wait, is that a tear? Oh, my God, Eric. I think she's being sincere.
Eric: [licks tear] Oh, my God, it's real. I have a sister.

Eric: Hey, look who I found. At first I just thought he was a leprechaun.
Mitch: Fez, I came over here because I wanna end this feud, okay? Right here, right now. And if you're not on board, I mean, could spread your crazy naked, homoerotic dream all over school, but...
Fez: Macho as I am, who would believe you?
Kelso: Okay, Fez. Uh, can I just say as the nurse that was sponging you in your dream that I'm with Mitch here on the whole "not spreading it around the school" thing.
Mitch: See, your lady friend here understands. Truce?
Fez: Well... I guess. Truce.
Mitch: Good. Here. Peace offering. [sings] Moron! [exits]
Fez: Oh, this is tomorrow's school paper. Oh, my God, on the front page there's a picture of me kissing Kelso by the lake.
Eric: Fez, why are you kissing Kelso by the lake?
Fez: We caught a fish! I was excited! I kissed the fish too, but, of course, they don't show you that.

Donna: Can I say something? I think this whole thing was a misunderstanding. Hyde didn't know what was going on.
Jackie: I know, okay? But after Michael, I promised myself that I would never be with another boy who cheated on me.
Donna: But Hyde's so good for you. Since you started dating him you've completely stopped quoting Nancy Drew.
Jackie: And the worst part is I still love him.
Donna: I know.
Jackie: [sobs] You know, normally, I wouldn't cry on your sweater because, you know, it ruins the fabric. But, God, this one's just so cheap, it won't matter.

Eric: Look, Mom, Dad, Donna and I have something we wanna say. Um, it turns out we're not ready to get married.
Red: No! And I was really rooting for you two crazy kids.
Eric: Look, we know you've been pressuring us into marriage so we'd admit you were right and live on your terms. But that's just not gonna happen. So, we've decided to move away as soon as we graduate.
Kitty: Move away? No, no, no, you can't move away yet. No, we were gonna use this summer to become best friends.
Eric: Look, we'll be going to college in the fall anyway. Instead of fighting with you guys for the next three months, we're just gonna get our own place in Madison.
Donna: Yeah, good luck trying to control us in Madison. [hides behind Eric]
Eric: Hey, Donna, remember we agreed not to do that, remember? Okay. Anyway, we're gonna have our own apartment. And, honestly, I just think we'll all be a lot happier.
Donna: Madison has two movie theaters.
Eric: Okay, Donna, come on.

Kelso: Donna, Eric didn't cheat on you. Hyde cheated on Jackie.
Donna: What? Oh, my God.
Kelso: [high-pitched] Yeah. And he doesn't know it, but I saw him kissing this lady in the hotel.
Donna: Oh, my God. That is horrible.
Kelso: I wanna do the right thing, right? So I'm thinking that I'll just tell Jackie. And then she'll feel really bad, and I'll console her, and presto, we'll be making out topless.
Donna: No, Kelso. The thing to do is to tell Hyde that you know and then give him a chance to tell Jackie.
Kelso: I knew you'd say that. You know, just once, I want the right thing and the topless thing to be the same thing.

Kelso: Well, hello, Hyde. I saw something very interesting in the hotel this morning.
Hyde: Oh, the guy in the dress? That's Frank. Comes in twice a month. Gets really pissed if you don't call him Lady Laguna.
Kelso: No. I saw you kissing a girl that wasn't Jackie.
Hyde: Oh, that.
Kelso: Ah, so you admit it.
Hyde: Sure.
Kelso: Don't try to deny it.
Hyde: I won't.
Kelso: You're not gonna wiggle your way outta this one!
Hyde: I'm not trying to.