Glenn: A few last bits of housekeeping. We switched the aisle six endcap so don't be alarmed. The softball team will once again not be happening. And lastly, uh, we got word that Jerusha has an abnormally shaped uterus which will prevent her from getting pregnant. So if any of you know any women who might like to carry our baby, you know, let me know. Any questions about softball? [sighs]

Glenn: Okay then, well, Jeff, the floor is yours.
Jeff: Yeah, thank you. [silence] Thank you for that warm reception.
Amy: I mean, you're here a lot.
Jeff: True. Today's not about me, though. It's about something big. Bigger than all of us.
Mateo: Is it your forehead?
Jeff: No. Hi, Mateo.

Amy: What are we now?
Jeff: Well, we're triple-A. I just said that.
Jonah: So this would be one more A then?
Jeff: Exactly. Believe me, you guys are gonna love this.
Cheyenne: So do we get anything or...
Jeff: Yes, you get a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment. Quad-A stores are the first to feature new products. Once they take our cafeteria and transfer it into a Pizza Hut, there's gonna be...
Garrett: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you just say Pizza Hut?
Jeff: Yeah. [excited chatter]
Cheyenne: Like we're famous or something?
Marcus: Uh, a point of clarification, Jeff, would it have the soda too?
Jeff: Yeah, I believe so.
All: Oh!
Amy: That's a formal Pizza Hut.

Jonah: Is Pizza Hut that great?
Amy: When you've been here long enough, any change is amazing. Plus, it's like, where do you work? Cloud 9. The regular one? Uh, no, the one with the Pizza Hut.
Jonah: It just... it seems odd that Jeff waited until today to tell us about all this. And he was selling it so hard. "Believe me, you're gonna love it." That's what my dad said before he moved out and got his own place.
Dina: Oh, boo-hoo, poor Jonah. Both of his parents were homeowners. What a tragedy.
Jonah: Actually, it was his friend's condo. That's not gonna help.

Garrett: Okay, so Charles Marquard, this is your American Express Business card.
Boy: Yep.
Garrett: And you don't have an ID with you.
Boy: Left it at the office.
Garrett: You'd like to purchase an Xbox One and a pile of candy.
Boy: Yeah, you know, for the kids.
Garrett: What kinda business you in?
Boy: Oil and gas.
Garrett: Oh, you know if it was me, I might pick up a second Xbox to have one upstairs, have one downstairs.
Boy: Okay.
Garrett: You're a good dad, Mr. Marquard.

Jeff: Okay, as soon as we hit $80,000, drop the balloons, hit the music, get a candid picture of me celebrating with everybody to send to corporate.
Marcus: Got it, got it. Hey, now let's talk dancers. How many are we talking? And... all dudes?
Jeff: Maybe no dancers.
Marcus: Music and balloons with no dancers? That's... gonna look insane, but fine.

Jonah: Jeff. Uh, new hat?
Jeff: Yeah. I splurged. You know, it's a huge day. It's a very huge day.
Amy: Definitely. Um, we were wondering if you could maybe tell us a little bit more about what we can expect once this store becomes Quad-A.
Jeff: Oh, uh, well, yeah, I mean, things are pretty much gonna be the same.
Jonah: Well, but earlier you said it would be better.
Jeff: Yes, obviously better. Better and the same.
Marcus: Nice. That sounds amazing.
Amy: Right. Is there any possibility that it could maybe get worse?
Jeff: You know what, there's a lot of liars out there, okay? Look for people who have scores to settle, perhaps. And don't believe everything you hear.
Jonah: What would we have heard?
Jeff: Oh, I don't know, but whatever it is, it would've been untrue. That's why it's a paradox. [laughs] Believe me. It's gonna be great. Trust me.
Marcus: Man, I can't wait for it to be great.

Glenn: Oh, sorry about that. Jerusha is making embroidery of your face on a rabbit's body.
Cheyenne: Mm.
Glenn: To say thank you. You know, and she wanted something she could work with. Could you profile?
Cheyenne: So Jerusha's on board?
Glenn: Yeah. It just means so much to us that you're willing to do this.

Amy: We cannot become a Quad-A.
Kelly: I don't understand.
Jonah: It's total chaos. Everyday there is like Black Friday. It's hell.
Dina: Hell on steroids.
Jonah: Isn't hell bad enough without adding steroids?

Amy: Everyone there is exhausted all the time. They are open 24 hours, which means they never have a chance to catch up.
Mateo: So when do they have time to clean?
Garrett: No, guys, we've come too far. We are this close to Quad-A. Now is not the time to...
Amy: They don't let employees eat the pizza.
Garrett: Withdrawn.