Jeff: Well, Trevor is like... Hmm, how can I put this so you'll understand? It's like if you took all the best traits of the Avengers and put them into one person.
Mateo: I actually don't understand that because I don't watch nerd movies, but congrats.
Jeff: Yeah, I guess I'm just the happiest I've ever been. I mean, and I wish that for you, you know I do. Maybe you can get there one day.
Mateo: I'm already there, okay? You don't have to wish me anything because I'm the one proposing, not Garrett. Eric and I are happier than you and Trevor. I'm ahead. You're behind.
Jeff: You're the one proposing?
Mateo: Yeah, so we beat you and Trevor!

Jeff: There is no me and Trevor, okay? I went out with him once, and he hasn't called me in like five weeks!
Mateo: Oh, this makes sense now.
Jeff: I just wanted everybody to think old Jeff has still got it, you know? I mean, I-I cannot believe I did this. I am pathetic! Just pathetic.
Mateo: Wait. Hey. No. You're not pathetic. Who covers two districts, huh? Not me. You have a lot to offer.
Jeff: You think so?
Mateo: Yeah. I know things didn't work out between us, but you were a really good boyfriend. And honestly, I don't know anyone who takes better care of their Subarus.
Jeff: Thanks, Mateo.

Jonah: The whole store was flooded?
Cheyenne: Yeah. It was nuts, and, like, a ton of used needles washed out from under a shelf. Something's been going down in Housewares.
Jonah: Okay, well, we're back and I'm ready, so what else needs to be done? Let's get this crew on it.
Cheyenne: There's not really anything left to do. Most of it's already been done. I mean, I was calling you guys for a while. Where were you?
Jonah: Uh, well, we... We were on a break because we deserved one today.
Justine: Jonah made us go outside and relax. We didn't wanna do it.
Jonah: You came alive out there, Justine. Don't lie.

Cheyenne: Well, did you at least finish the special assignment?
Jonah: That was just a bunch of busy work.
Cheyenne: Yeah, but if you didn't move those boxes onto the shelves, then they were probably damaged in the flood. And that was, like, all new Zephra products, so that's, like, really bad.
Sandra: Damn it, Jonah! I knew we should've finished the work, but you led us astray with your exotic flavored waters.
Jonah: I just wanted you to understand that we are all better...
Sandra: That's the thing. I'm not better than the work. I'm a shadow person. And I like it!
Jonah: Okay, yeah. No, yeah, I get it, so... so yeah, we'll get back there and assess the...
Sandra: No. You know what? You're not wanted in the back. [Sandra and the others walk off]
Cheyenne: Oh, my God, did you see me almost follow her? Like, I literally took a step.

Jeff: So the store will be closed for a few days to repair all the water damage. That's not good for quarterly numbers! Not to mention all the customer complaints we're getting about being splashed with "pee-pee water." And most are negative! Some people were into it.
Dina: Mm. What a mess, huh? We don't even really know what happened, but it did start in the customer bathroom, so talk to them about their diet, I guess?
Jeff: So I should tell corporate that their plumbing got wrecked because a customer ate and pooped out a whole salami and a complete set of shot glasses?
Dina: Hey, things can come out of your butt that didn't start in your mouth.

Cheyenne: So you see all these boxes here? We need you to move them over there.
Sandra: Oh, man. I hope we can get this done in time.
Jonah: In time for what? This is just busy work.
Cheyenne: It's not busy work. It's work that this group of people will excel at doing. All right. So good luck! Don't talk to anyone. Good luck!

Garrett: Isn't this a lot of work for just a couple extra stars on a survey?
Dina: If we don't get our score up, Glenn and I could be fired. And then do you know who's gonna be in charge of you guys? Who's gonna be around all the time? Jeff.
Garrett: Yo, everyone, take this seriously 'cause I'm not pretending to have a fiancée for more than one day.

Mateo: But messing up is against my nature. I wouldn't even know where to start.
Cheyenne: Well, we got the baby thing.
Glenn: Oh, God, I wish I'd said no to the baby thing earlier. Now, it's getting so much traction.

Mateo: Girl, it is your lucky day. I had to dig and dig through the back, but I found the last one for you.

Glenn: [sings] ♪ Eeny, meeny, miney, mo ♪ Which free hot dog gets to go ♪
Dina: What are you doing?
Glenn: Picking which one to give out next. You have to have a system.