Jeff Quote #78
Quote from Jeff in Customer Satisfaction
Jeff: There is no me and Trevor, okay? I went out with him once, and he hasn't called me in like five weeks!
Mateo: Oh, this makes sense now.
Jeff: I just wanted everybody to think old Jeff has still got it, you know? I mean, I-I cannot believe I did this. I am pathetic! Just pathetic.
Mateo: Wait. Hey. No. You're not pathetic. Who covers two districts, huh? Not me. You have a lot to offer.
Jeff: You think so?
Mateo: Yeah. I know things didn't work out between us, but you were a really good boyfriend. And honestly, I don't know anyone who takes better care of their Subarus.
Jeff: Thanks, Mateo.
Superstore Quotes
‘Customer Satisfaction’ Quotes
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: The key is a personal connection. Customers eat that up, especially moms. You guys get a mom, you send her my way. I'm gonna get you that positive feedback, guaranteed.
Mateo: Ew. You're gonna sleep with all the moms to get a good survey?
Jonah: No! What?
Glenn: Jonah, please. Let's keep it clean.
Dina: Glenn, we actually legally can't tell Jonah who not to sleep with, so if you're gonna have sex with the moms, just do it on your break.
Jonah: I'm not... F- Fine.
Quote from Cheyenne
Dina: Cheyenne, you can monitor the surveys on the app. If one of our people gets even one bad review, I want you to pull them off the floor as fast as you can.
Cheyenne: And shave them?
Dina: What?
Cheyenne: Like shave their head to shame them so they know they did something bad?
Dina: No, just reassign them to the back.
Cheyenne: Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry. It just wasn't clear.
Quote from Jeff
Jeff: Okay, well, Zephra's looking at the scores and the comments, so it's important that you get positive feedback. Especially this store.
Dina: What's that supposed to mean?
Jeff: There's been some chatter that 1217 is a "problem child" store.
Glenn: What?
Jeff: I mean, you did damage the store's servers, there's the raccoon infestation, there's Carol's lawsuit, not to mention the multiple attempts at unionizing.
Dina: Well, yeah, of course it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that. But if you interspersed them with good things we've done or just, you know, random trivia...