[Amy finds her colleagues watching a comic-book-style video of her and Jonah kissing set to Aha's "Take on Me"]
Amy: I mean... seriously?
Garrett: This is all Sandra.
Sandra: I'm taking a Learning Annex course.
Amy: It's impressive.

Glenn: Thank you all for coming on such short notice.
Cheyenne: Uh, Glenn, before we get started, I just wanted to say that I'm wearing a hat, which I know is against the rules. And boom! Amnesty.
Glenn: Okay... okay.

Glenn: Uh, as you all know, from time to time, we have a guest speaker...
Garrett: We've literally never done that.
Glenn: So... I would like to introduce you to Pastor Craig.
Dina: You know the rules about religion at work.
Glenn: And I get amnesty today, so why don't you go kiss a table? There is something wrong with the souls of the people who work here...
Pastor Craig: Amen.
Glenn: And I am not just gonna stand back and let this place become Times Square, New York City!
Pastor Craig: Hallelujah.
Glenn: Yeah.

Pastor Craig: All right, everybody blow it out. Come on, blow it out. [coughing] Blow out the sin! [all exhaling] Blow it on out. Blow it on out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... you feel that? I think it just got a little lighter in here.
Justine: I felt it, big time.
Pastor Craig: Hallelujah. So, keep breathing, blow out those sins, and forgive yourself. All right, Amen. [to Glenn] All right, so, I think, we're good here. Uh, do you guys sell those tire air-pressure tester... what do you call those things...
Glenn: No, no, that's it? The small...
Kelly: Tire gauge.
Pastor Craig: Yes, thank you. I need a tire gauge.
Dina: I told ya, you take away the punishment, you find out what people really are.
Amy: Wait, what? What are you talking about?
Glenn: There was no fireable offense. Dina said that people were monsters, and as a Christian, I wanted to prove that they weren't.
Pastor Craig: Actually, we Christians believe that all people are sinners. It's, uh... it's kind of our whole thing.

Sandra: She didn't know that he didn't know, and now he knows that she knows...
Kelly: We [bleep] get it, Sandra.

Sandra: How are you doing with everything?
Amy: There it is. You know me. Struggling to keep it in my pants. With Jonah roaming around here somewhere, I'm just like, "Give it to me, Jonah." [light laughter]
Sandra: That's a good one.
Amy: Mm-hmm. Yep, gonna go find him now and just, like, do him, you know? Soft lines? More like hard lines. [chuckles] Get it? [Sandra shakes her head]

Dina: [exhales] Watching your world view get shattered has been the highlight of my year, and that includes meeting that Balki guy.
Glenn: Bronson Pinchot.
Dina: What does that mean?

Glenn: Garrett...... let's get this over with.
Garrett: Get what over with?
Glenn: What did you do? Did you make two nuns fight a prostitute? Broil a child?
Garrett: Nah, I didn't do anything. I'm very, very sorry to say, but, uh, I haven't broken any rules.
Glenn: Really? So, you've never gotten stoned at work or... or hit golf balls off the checkout? You've never taken a video game home, played it, repackaged it, and put it back on the shelf?
Garrett: No. I mean, those are all things I probably could've done, but did not.
Glenn: Garrett... you little rule follower. I found a good one! [kisses Garrett's head and walks away]
Dina: His ability to delude himself is the only impressive thing about him.
Garrett: I think I was just disoriented in the moment, but I am not cool with him kissing my head.

[The employees laugh as the Benny Hill theme plays over the CCTV footage of Amy and Jonah kissing]
Justine: This never gets old.
Jonah: Why are you doing this?
Garrett: Because this job is incredibly boring.

Cheyenne: So, Kelly, do you, like, hate Amy now?
Kelly: What? No. This was before I even started working here...
Amy: Yes.
Kelly: And... and it was just a kiss.
Amy: Yes, exactly. Thank you, Kelly.
Isaac: Uh-oh... looks like we got ourselves a catfight. Amy frenched her man, and now they're gonna throw down.
Amy: How did you get there from...
Justine: [meows]
Sandra: [meows]