Corey: You guys looking for condoms? They're right here.
Amy: Shut up, Corey. You know I have the power to fire you.
Jonah: Do you?
Amy: I don't know. I'm just so annoyed with everybody and this stupid video.
Jonah: It'll pass. You remember Robin with that whole sexting thing? Nobody even mentions it anymore.
Amy: Robin killed himself.
Jonah: Oh... Still, though.

Justine: Uh-oh. Back to the scene of the crime, you guys.
Isaac: [imitates bass riff] That's porn music, it's not Seinfeld.
Amy: We get it. Point taken.
Jonah: Yeah, you really zinged us.
Isaac: You really zinged each other.
Justine: [laughs] You should write for Craig Ferguson.

Cheyenne: What do you think someone did?
Garrett: I don't know.
Cheyenne: Who do you think did it?
Garrett: Still don't know.
Cheyenne: When do you think it even...
Garrett: I don't have any more information than you do.

Mateo: [on the phone] Hey, Jeff, um, third call. Just still really wanting to see how you were feeling about the whole undocumented thing, or if you're mad at me or not, of if you told anyone or didn't, or would or wouldn't. I... Sorry, this weird lady's looking at me.

Man: Can someone please open a register? I have kind of a shrimp emergency.
Dina: All the registers should be open.
Man: Well, I'm not being dramatic. My wife is gonna murder me.
Glenn: Where is everyone?

Isaac: Okay, so, I'm the one who's been stealing the shopping carts, uh, but they're not for me. I give 'em to the homeless.
Glenn: Tha- That's not too bad!
Isaac: I just give 'em the carts. They do the battling on their own.
Glenn: What? Battling?

Corey: I've been smoking weed in the stock room on Wednesdays and Fridays.
Dina: Right under our noses. How awful.
Glenn: What?
Corey: And on Mondays and Thursdays, I just drink. And on Saturdays, I go to the Cinnabon and go nuts. It's so good.

Dina: So, you film homeless people smashing each other with our carts?
Isaac: Sometimes, I'll just give one of 'em a cart and the other a stick or a trashcan lid. It's barbaric.
Glenn: What is happening in this store?
Dina: Aw, it's not just this store, it's the whole world. Now, you just keep that same face right there...
Glenn: Huh?
Dina: That is going on my wall right next to the picture of me with the guy who played Balki.
Isaac: Bronson Pinchot.
Dina: I don't know what you're saying to me.

Corey: Oh... Oh, hey. Do you guys want us to leave you alone with this bed? Yeah? [laughs]
Amy: Um, you know what, Corey, yes. Could you hit the lights on your way out? 'Cause we were just about to have a nooner.
Jonah: Yeah, unless, you know, anybody wants to stick around and... and film all the banging that we're gonna do.
Amy: That's a good idea.
Justine: Oh, did you hear that? They said they were gonna bang.
Isaac: Admitted it.
Amy: Oh, yeah, bangin' and proud of it. Watch out, Cloud 9's about to get real hot up in here!
Jonah: Uh-oh!
Amy: Uh-oh! [both grunt]
Corey: It's not fun when you're into it.

Isaac: Come on, you guys, you're being annoying now.
Jonah: You know, what's annoying is being around this hottie all day long and just not getting to make out.
Amy: You know, it's like our lips are magnets. Every time we see each other, it's like, "Hi, Jonah..."
Jonah: "Whoa-oh-oh, oh, my God, can't control my lips. Uh-oh"...
Amy: "Uh-oh! Watch out!" [they kiss]
Jonah: That... that was an accident...
Amy: We didn't mean to do that.
Jonah: But you...
Amy: Yeah.
Jonah: Yeah, because you were going in...
Justine: [runs off] Guys, something just happened!