Glenn Quote #373
Glenn: Garrett...... let's get this over with.
Garrett: Get what over with?
Glenn: What did you do? Did you make two nuns fight a prostitute? Broil a child?
Garrett: Nah, I didn't do anything. I'm very, very sorry to say, but, uh, I haven't broken any rules.
Glenn: Really? So, you've never gotten stoned at work or... or hit golf balls off the checkout? You've never taken a video game home, played it, repackaged it, and put it back on the shelf?
Garrett: No. I mean, those are all things I probably could've done, but did not.
Glenn: Garrett... you little rule follower. I found a good one! [kisses Garrett's head and walks away]
Dina: His ability to delude himself is the only impressive thing about him.
Garrett: I think I was just disoriented in the moment, but I am not cool with him kissing my head.
Superstore Quotes
‘Amnesty’ Quotes
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: There's a hat rule, "not allowed."
Garrett: Okay, we're not just hatting this. There has to be something in-between maiming someone and putting on a fedora.
Cheyenne: "Employees should avoid discussing racial issues, including positive comments such as, 'I for one am proud of this Mexican's achievements.'"
Garrett: Most of this stuff is stuff I don't wanna do or doesn't even apply. "A female employee's skirt shall start below the knee, and her bosom shall be fully covered"?
Cheyenne: That's a rule?
Garrett: Yeah.
Cheyenne: Most days, I don't even wear underwear, mainly 'cause mentioning that gets me free donuts from whoever's working café.
Garrett: Couldn't you just lie about that?
Cheyenne: They would know. I would know.
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Uh-oh, hope I'm not interrupting anything. [rubs finger over back of hand]
Jonah: What is that?
Sandra: Sex.
Amy: No, it's not. I think you mean this.
[Amy and Jonah show an index finger going in and out of a thumb/index finger circle on the other hand]
Sandra: Oh, like this?
Jonah: Yeah, there you go.
Sandra: Oh...
[All three keep making the gesture]
Jonah: This is nice.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: So, I know this may come as a surprise, but I actually got teased a lot in middle school.
Amy: [gasps] No.
Jonah: Yeah, I don't know if it was the rattail or the eighth grade talent show where I did a Bossa Nova rendition of "Material Girl" on alto sax...
Amy: That. It was that.
Jonah: But the moment I stopped fighting it and... and actually just laughed along with them, it wasn't fun for them anymore.
Amy: Mm.
Jonah: They started teasing this fat kid instead, which, long story short, he's a male model now.
Amy: Wow. You're really the hero of that story.
Jonah: I guess so.