Drew: I got you something.
Denise: Is that Cole's mom?
Drew: [laughs] Yeah. I introduced 'em.
Denise: You're gonna hit that, aren't you?
Dr. Kelso: Like a big rig with no brakes.
Denise: Wow, that was digusting.

Drew: Let's get out of here, huh?
Denise: Yeah. I could use a drink.
Drew: I don't really drink anymore.
Denise: That's cool. You can drive.
Drew: I don't really drive either.
Denise: You're weird. I like that.

Lucy: [v.o.] There he is. No one has sex with Lucy Bennett, takes naked pictures of her and gets away with it.
Lucy: Cole, I'm not sure I like what you did.
Lucy: [v.o.] Served!
Cole: I know I blew any chance of us being together again, and that kills me. And I'm sorry. I just need to think about who I am for a second, you know?

Turk: Dude, again?
J.D.: Finally. Where have you been? I came as soon as I heard.
Turk: I thought you said there were bees. Where are the bees?
J.D.: They're quiet now, but I think they're plotting something big.
Captain Duncook: Let's get him out of there.
Lt. Underhill: Hell, yeah. Give me a chance to use old Megan Fox.
Captain Duncook: That's just a tranq gun. It's an elephant dose. But don't worry, we cut it with some diet soda.
Turk: Can't we just shake the tree again?
Captain Duncook: Go shake. Come on, little white baby. Jump into my arms. You all right?
J.D.: It's like being held by a big piece of caramel.

Alan: You all right?
Lucy: Oh, what the french? Sorry. I was just hiding from one of my teachers. It's a little game we play.
Alan: Really?
Lucy: No. You can win at games.
Alan: Got bad news for you, sweetheart. You lost.

Denise: I thought you had dinner plans with your wingmom.
Cole: Yeah, she's at the bar, sizing up the local talent for me. [to his mom] No! Yeah, I like more booty than that. She should know that by now. I know you feel me.
Turk: Yeah, I do.
J.D.: Is a wingmom what I think it is?
[fantasy: J.D. is in bed in a child's room as a woman with wings flies towards him like a fairy:]
J.D.: Sing to me, wingmom. Sing me to my dreams.

Denise: Can we stop talking about this?
Turk: You know what you need? [sings] A water taxi to your island So he can get there, and you can kiss him
J.D.: [sings] Up on your island, all chillin' with turtles 'Cause you're so private, and now falsetto
Turk: Oh, yes, falsetto
J.D.: Uh-oh, she's leavin'
Turk: Now, let's keep going
J.D.: Now even higher
Turk: Yes, even higher

Dr. Cox: Honestly, I can't think of anything that could make this moment more delicious.
Lucy: Alan?
Alan: Who are you?
Dr. Cox: More delicious. I love when movies end the way you hope they will.
Lucy: You saw this coming?
Dr. Cox: Everyone saw this coming.
Lucy: Not Dr. D.
Dr. Cox: Really? Would you like to know the deal your precious Dr. D. made with me in my office?
[flashback:]
Dr. Cox: If I agree to do this, you have to promise that I'll get to be there to watch the devastation wash over her face.
J.D.: I'll do what I can.
Dr. Cox: Then I'm in.
[present:]
Dr. Cox: He even bet me a triple C-note that Alan here wouldn't make it a week.
Lucy: I don't believe you.
J.D.: Hey, Big Per, I want my winnings in all fives or my own Number 1 sign. Your call.

Lucy: How could you do that to me?
J.D.: I know you can't see it right now, but this is good for you.
Lucy: Yeah, as good as my mom's fish biscuits. They're bad.
J.D.: Ah. Look, Lucy, at- at some point, every doctor needs to learn about lost causes like Alan. I just thought I'd come along for the ride with you.
Lucy: Why?
J.D.: Because when it happened to me, there was no one around to talk to me about it after. If you're gonna survive as a doctor, you have to stop trying to change things you can't change.
Lucy: So I'm supposed to never try and help anybody like Alan?
J.D.: No. Because if you're gonna survive as a person, you can never stop trying to change things you can't change.
Lucy: My head hurts.
J.D.: Get used to it.