Dr. Kelso Quote #459

Quote from Dr. Kelso in Our Drunk Friend

Drew: I got you something.
Denise: Is that Cole's mom?
Drew: [laughs] Yeah. I introduced 'em.
Denise: You're gonna hit that, aren't you?
Dr. Kelso: Like a big rig with no brakes.
Denise: Wow, that was digusting.

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 ‘Our Drunk Friend’ Quotes

Quote from Turk

Denise: I can't believe what Cole gets away with. I'd like to fill a tube sock full of batteries and just beat him a little. You know, send a message? What?
Turk: Denise, you're scary. I mean, sure, you seem cute at first, but then you eat after midnight or get some water on you, and then boom, you turn into this monster, and I gotta throw you in a microwave and explode you.
Denise: What the hell are you talking about?
Turk: I'm talking Gremlins, woman. You know, you should get your boyfriend to watch that movie, and then maybe he could understand you better.

Quote from Turk

Turk: All right, class, first order of business is simple. We're gonna take out our... J.D., what are you doing?
J.D.: Just watching you teach.
Turk: You know, in this light, You look like Denzel Washington in The Great Debaters.
Turk: Come on, man. I'm working here. Now listen. If you- You know that's what I was going for, right?
J.D.: It's pretty obvious.
Turk: All right, class, you now have 30 seconds to list the adductor muscles of the hip. Your group does not want to be last. Ready? Go.
J.D.: [v.o.] The pressure here can make some students crack.
Man: [screams]
Turk: Amir, you can't just be grabbing kidneys like that! Bring it back!

 Dr. Bob Kelso Quotes

Quote from My Kingdom

Dr. Cox: I have no words.
Dr. Kelso: How about handsome? Or glorious?
Dr. Cox: And this abomination is the reason we can't afford a new computer?
Dr. Kelso: Well, that and the little medical boondoggle I have to go to in Cleveland. And by medical boondoggle, I mean golf weekend. And by Cleveland, I mean Hawaii.
Dr. Cox: Do you have any idea what people around here think of you?
Dr. Kelso: I go to bed some nights wondering. And you know what happens to me, Perry? I fall asleep. And I mean like a log, brother. Anyway, I have to go catch my bus to the airport. And by bus, I mean helicopter.

Quote from My Dumb Luck

Dr. Kelso: So, have you killed anyone yet?
Boon: What? No.
Dr. Kelso: Well, you will.
Boon: Super.
Dr. Kelso: It's a rite of passage for doctors. If you're lucky, it'll be a patient who's on his way out anyway. My first kill was a 19-year-old girl. She came in with severe abdominal pain. I thought it was appendicitis. Turned out, she was pregnant and didn't know it. It was ectopic and she was bleeding internally. I should have checked for that. But by the time I discovered my mistake, it was too late. Sometimes I look at this old hospital, I actually see the faces of all the patients I've lost. Booga, booga, booga!
Boon: Aah!
Dr. Kelso: [laughs] Priceless. But I do see them sometimes.