Reagan: It isn't a dream job. Sure, it comes with a great salary and a vaccination for the coming elk flu. The flu that you're gonna be hearing about for the next decade.

Jess: [on the phone] So I fly you down. You are my gift to Nick. What do you say?
Reagan: I don't know, Jess. I mean, I have a really big pitch tomorrow. It's a treatment for... I mean, the polite term is "gravelly bowel syndrome."

Reagan: So do you know the bride or the groom?
Robby: The bride destroyed my heart.
Nadia: I destroyed the groom's Jew penis.
Reagan: Mm. I hope you guys are giving a toast.