Janitor: You should really hesitate before going around corners.
J.D.: I was thinking that earlier.
Janitor: Hey, since that Chief Doctor person that fired me is gone, I'm back!
J.D.: Yay!
Janitor: I knew you'd react that way. And since Jimmy, the overly touching orderly, got his job back too, I took the liberty of telling him how much you missed him.

Janitor: Thanks for tagging in for me, Teddy. I really need to ease myself back in. Mopping is not like riding a bike, that's for sure.
Ted: No problem.

J.D.: [v.o.] I'm never ready for half the stuff that people say. Whether it's an answer you didn't expect.
Ted: So how did you get hired back?
Janitor: I didn't. Technically, I don't work here.

Ted: If you weren't hired back, why are you here working?
Janitor: I'm not. You are.
[Ted stops scrubbing for a brief moment and then carries on]

Elliot: J.D. and I are just friends, Dr. Kelso. I mean, we just like hanging out together.
J.D.: We rent movies, go on hikes.
Elliot: On Sunday nights, we do our laundry together.
J.D.: Did you know that Elliot's granny panties are actually her granny's panties.
Elliot: It's just one pair, J.D., excuse me for being sentimental.
Dr. Kelso: So, basically, you two do everything a normal couple does except have sex?
J.D.: Exactly.
Dr. Kelso: Sounds awesome. Pardon me, I've had nine coffees in two hours. Time to drain.

J.D.: You want me to go first? Elliot, I've never been able to get over the idea of us. I'm still crazy about you.
Elliot: I don't really know what you want me to say.
J.D.: Maybe you could tell me if you feel the same way?
Elliot: Yeah!
J.D.: Maybe you could say it without sounding angry.
Elliot: But, J.D., you crushed me. I mean, I gave you my love, and you threw it back at my face, and pretty much scarred me romantically. I mean, now I'm doomed to a life of gravitating to safe boring guys who I don't really love. And I'm repelled by the ones I care for deeply. So, thank you for that.

Turk: [through speaker] Looks like everybody got through with flying colors.
Dr. Cox: Congratulations there, Gandhi. Your ability to bring people together is very powerful. Much like... Gandhi.
Turk: That means a lot to me. Because I'm just so desperate for your approval.
Dr. Cox: [to the Todd] What-- What's his problem? Is he still mad at me?
[As he stands behind Dr. Cox, departed by glass, Turk mimes killing Dr. Cox with his scalpel]
Todd: Maybe. I can't be sure. You know, the Brinkleys never gave the Halfords a reason to be skeptical. Life would be so much easier if everybody just trusted each other.

Whitney: Paycheck time, everyone!
Todd: Come on, Whitney. I like it when you do it like Oprah.
Whitney: Fine. [Oprah voice] Who wants to get a paycheck? You get a paycheck. You get a paycheck. You get a paycheck!
Ted: You got to go, man! Everybody's going to see when she doesn't have a check for you. It'll be humiliating. Look, you can't just say things are going to work out, and then they do. That's not how the world-
Janitor: Excuse me. I didn't get mine.
Whitney: Who are you?
Janitor: I'm the janitor. See? Actually, I'm the old janitor. I replaced the janitor that replaced me. So, I'm still in the system.
Whitney: I'll go get you a check.
Janitor: Didn't mean to cut you off, Ted. You were saying?

Dr. Cox: Mrs. Winter, this is Dr. Turk. He's going to give you an exam and explain all your surgical options to you.
Turk: One second. Hey, you're leaving?
Dr. Cox: Please, don't make me have second thoughts by asking very stupid questions.
Turk: So what, you trust surgeons now?
Dr. Cox: No, I trust you.

Elliot: I know we're talking, but it still feels like we're being so careful, you know?
J.D.: We're just scared. I made so many mistakes in my life because I was scared. It's the reason I bailed when you said "I love you". It's the reason-
Elliot: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
J.D.: OK. But I am scared of ending our friendship.
Elliot: What if I get hurt again?
J.D.: What if you picked up a new STD?
Elliot: For the last time, that was not an STD! It was a urinary tract infection, and I got it from having sex with you in a pond.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yeah, you did.