Dr. Cox: Hey, what do you say there, Barbie? What are you doing here?
Elliot: I just came to borrow the stroller, to take Izzy to the mall.
Dr. Cox: I see. You think Izzy might like a muffin?
Elliot: Oh, she can't have processed food.
Dr. Cox: Carla's not around.
Elliot: Give me that.

J.D.: Emery's grafts are looking great. Let's get that man a cap and gown.
Elliot: Why would you bother asking my advice, if you're just gonna ignore it?
J.D.: Come on, Elliot. You know when people ask for advice they're really just looking for someone to backup the decision they already made. It's like when I asked you if I should buy those white cords. You said no, but it didn't matter. I was gonna buy them anyway, because they match my white cord jacket.
Elliot: Yeah, and that outfit's hideous.
J.D.: Now you're just embarrassing yourself.

Dr. Kelso: [holding a tennis ball] All right, who ever stole my muffin is going to have to get this green fuzz out of my teeth.

Turk: Baby, I know you'll never believe me but bacon ice cream is the perfect after-brinner treat.
Carla: So, are you ready for presents?
Turk: Baby, you already made me brinner.
Carla: [removes remove] Well, this is for you, too.
Turk: You look absolutely amazing. But it's kinda hard to beat brinner.
Carla: Perfect.

Dr. Cox: So, Gandhi, how does your wife like her terrible present?
Turk: I haven't told her yet. I was going to, but her not knowing I understand Spanish is like having a secret power. It got me flapjacks for dinner.
Dr. Kelso: You got brinner? Damn Turkle-dawg!
Turk: Still, I gotta tell her, I feel like I'm spying on her.
Dr. Kelso: Marriage is a lifelong battle, except we men have been given no weapons. That's why I break into Enid's email account.

Turk: You know, this morning I heard her tell her friend: "Quisiera que el no oliera como los huevos despues de hacer ejercicios". Which meant: I wish he didn't smell like eggs every time he works out. So I put on deodorant. You know, when you think about it, Carla not knowing I understand her really is the best thing for her.

Dr. Kelso: Kapow. Triple chocolate hazelnut fudge with a filling made out of tiny brownies. The baker said it would feed 16, but I am going to take this mama-jama down in one sitting! [Kelso looks away for a moment] Well?
Dr. Cox: Well, what?
Dr. Kelso: Perry, since I won free muffins for life, I know I have packed on a few, but this system is working. I am even using the real holes in my belt and not the ones I stabbed with the screwdriver. So, come on! I'll pretend to talk to this guy. You ditch the cake. Hey, random employee. Blah, blah, blah.
Dr. Cox: Bob, I'm very busy.
Dr. Kelso: Fine.

Dr. Cox: Can't you people see I'm trying to get some work done here? Leave!
Turk: For funzies, I'm gonna say two words I've always wanted to say ever since I started working here. You ready? Make me.
Carla: No, you didn't.
Turk: Oh, yes, I did.
Carla: You did? I like it.
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and play it that way. Say, Carla... [Spanish: "Your husband thinks you're an overbearing control freak with Izzy."]
Turk: That's not even true!
Carla: How did you even understand that?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, milk dud Is it because you comprehend all languages and you are a super genius?
Carla: That ain't it.
Dr. Cox: Or is it that you secretly learned Spanish, so that you could spy on our dear Carla here right underneath her nose?
Turk: I trusted you.
Dr. Cox: That wasn't very smart, was it?

Turk: I should have told you right away. Brinner had a lot to do with it. I love brinner.
Carla: Hello?
Turk: Still, I should have told you. I'm sorry.
Carla: I forgive you.
Turk: Excuse me?
Carla: The other day, when I missed that stupid play group meeting and decided I was a horrible mother and you told me not to let a little mistake erase a good thing. Remember what I said?
Turk: This is it coming back?
Carla: Besides, it must have been really hard for you to learn Spanish.
Turk: It was so hard.
Carla: And it can be really tough for you to learn new things.
Turk: I know. I am so slow.
Carla: Say it in Spanish.
Turk: Yo soy muy lento.
Carla: Say it again.
Turk: Yo soy muy lento.

Elliot: Where's Turk?
Carla: I don't know.
[When Turk wakes up in his underwear in the back of the ambulance, Lloyd is there drinking a beer in his boxers]
Turk: Lloyd?
Lloyd: Just goin' with the vibe, bro.