Moira: Okay, Patty, come on, Patty! atty, the eyes of the lonely world are on you! So, five, six, seven, eight, Patty! [taps] Five, six, seven, eight! Nine, ten- Nine. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

Jocelyn: Moira, we're having a boy.
Moira: A boy, I believe I told you that. How wonderful! My boy right now is being serenaded by his butter-voiced beau.

Moira: Let's go. I've had enough waking hours for one day.

Herb Ertlinger: Sorry. I was looking into a new sprayer. And I brought you this It's our Cabernet Merlot petit grenache.
Johnny: Oh!
Moira: Sounds delightfully busy.

Moira: But why are you reading them now?
Johnny: [sighs] I was missing you, so I took out the letters, because reading them made me feel like you were still here with me.
Moira: Oh, you're too sweet. Unfortunately, we're going to have to stick with my version of the events.
Johnny: What? Why would we do that?
Moira: I don't want anyone thinking I wrote these!
Johnny: Well, I don't want people thinking I'm reading some other woman's love letters!
Moira: Well, it'll give you an edge. No one will ever accuse you of being vanilla again.
Johnny: Who's saying that?

Moira: Alexis, what have I told you about putting your body on the internet? Never! Never without proper lighting.
Alexis: Can everyone get out, please?! I haven't seen my boyfriend in like eight days.
Moira: And I haven't seen my furry Fendi's for weeks.