Moira: David, blame me.
David: Oh, I do.
Moira: Patrick was about to slip away with the signatures when I corralled him into a little lunchtime chin wag.

Johnny: I understand, Moira. So, would you like me to leave you to cocktails with the gals, then?
Moira: Oh god, no, we'll leave together, please. There are only so many ways I can feign amusement at Ronnie's comedia del commode.

Moira: Stevie, I'm so proud of you. You're really powering through tonight. Of course I never doubted you.
Stevie: Thank you, but I still have an act and a half to prove you wrong.
Moira: Now I suppose David's announcement left you a little shaken.
Stevie: That's really not it, Mrs. Rose. It's just... I wish I wasn't watching it all happen from behind the desk. You know? It feels like everyone's growing up all around me.
Moira: You know, before the "Crows" movie happened, I too thought there was no escape from this dark, troublesome existence that was my life in this town. I was as hopelessly crestfallen as you are right now.

Alexis: Okay, she doesn't know what she's doing, and didn't know that it was recording.
Patrick: Okay look, David can never, ever find out about this. I am actually afraid that he will never sleep again.
Moira: Precisely why we're involving you in this covert stratagem.

Alexis: [loud cough]
David: [wakes up, gasps] What happened? Who died?
Johnny: Who died?
David: Did Patrick die?
Alexis: No, Patrick didn't die, David.
David: Then why did you startle me awake like this? My mind went straight to some kind of unthinkable tragedy. Like something really, really bad happened.
Johnny: Oh. Imagine.
Moira: Well, the day did have a slight singultus.

Moira: Jocelyn, you're about to witness a master class in judicatory persuasion.

Moira: [on the phone] Oh, Bev, I'm sorry I missed you, but I'm so happy I got your voicemail! Wondering when you might be getatable for a little red biddy, little back chat? Hm? Oh, and we're moving to New York. I just thought it was time. Ciao. [hangs up]
Johnny: Don't tell me you're having lunch with Bev after all this.
Moira: Imagine? No, I amputated those people years ago. But Bev and her big bazoo will get the word out quicker than any group memorandum.

Moira: Shall I? Hence our impending move to the Big Red Delicious.
Ronnie: Excuse me?
Jocelyn: Moira, I haven't said anything yet.
Moira: [chuckles] Why the festivities then?
Jocelyn: Grace is moving to Elm Valley. That's why the cake says "Goodbye Grace".
Moira: Oh I-I... I thought you were singling out one of my notable attributes. Shh. Okay, we'll just smooth things over until Grace arrives.
Grace: I-I'm right here.
Moira: Yes, you are! Grace! Our timorous grinagog.

Stevie: It's just that we have um, a bunch of guests checking in, and I could really use some help. Now.
Moira: Now? Well, then, I am here for you, Stevie. Uh, let's see something in a supervisory capacity, perhaps?
Stevie: Then you can work the front desk.
Moira: Ooh, receptionist work is not my strong suit, that's more Alexis' bailiwick.
Stevie: The other option is changing the sheets, and mattress covers.
Moira: Then I shall keep watch over this front desk.

Johnny: Boys, this time tomorrow your store may be the official supplier of Rosebud Motels across the continent.
Patrick: I have nothing but confidence, Mr. Rose.
Jocelyn: Rollie, there's mints in your pocket, there was a lot of onions in the omelette.
Moira: Goodbye, my conquistadors! We are all relying on you... No! We're cheering you on!
Alexis: Just wave. Just wave.