Johnny: Okay, enough. Let's get going, please?
Moira: Yes, yes, plenty of work to be done. Unfortunately my previous engagements preclude me from offering my beneficence around the motel today. John, I hate to leave you like this!

Moira: Before we find ourselves ebrious with hooch and happiness, may I say how very proud all of us are on this day of days.
David: Well, we did say no speeches, so...
Moira: Your father...
Stevie: Guess they listened.
Moira: With his pecuniary savvy and intrepidation has turned what began as a katzenjammer of a day into one filled with faith, hope and love.
Johnny: Well, thank you, sweetheart.

Moira: [gasps] Oh gals! You shouldn't have. Jocelyn, are we now moonlighting as town crier?
Jocelyn: Oh, no, Moira...
Moira: Cheeky gawpus you. Yes, it's true. Our husbands, at my husband's direction, are currently in New York City, vending their business to the corporate cognoscenti.

Johnny: You know, I think the reason our kids are so casual with us is because they think of us as their friends.
Moira: Hmm, no.
Johnny: No, it's obvious. It's obvious, Moira, right? Because we're hip parents.
Moira: Oh, John.
Johnny: And that comes at a price.
Moira: John, we're not hip. I'm hipper than you, but in our children's eyes we are the polar antonym of hip.

Moira: Well, a little bird chirped in my ear about your singing group.
Jocelyn: Oh, you mean the Jazzagals?
Moira: Yes. At first I wondered aloud, why would a competitive vocal group not reach out to a trained chanteuse?
Jocelyn: Oh, we're just a group of gals.
Moira: Exactly. That's the answer. Small minds don't reach for the stars. No more! Not on my watch. Jocelyn, I am here!

Moira: John, don't get too close, dear. We can't afford you contracting mange.
Johnny: It's a cat, Moira. I hit a cat!
Moira: Well, what kind of ailurophobe sends their kitty out to play on such a busy stretch of highway?

Moira: [answers phone] Tippy. Yes, I just received it. Please, tell me this is not some barbarous jape. Yes. Yes. My answer is a yes! A clangorous, vociferous yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Johnny: What's all that about?
Moira: Sunrise Bay. Wow. When forced to choose between Clifton and myself, they decided mine was the bigger name.

Johnny: Hey partner, what's the good word?
Stevie: There's a dead guy in Room 4.
Johnny: What? What do ya mean there's a dead guy in come in, come in.
Moira: Did I hear what I think I heard? Has someone been killed?
Stevie: No.
Moira: No! No, John, no. No! I have endured a cornucopia of trauma that last few years, I draw the line at living in a crime scene.

Johnny: I've gotta wipe him up, and change his clothes again.
Moira: For all we know, it's got crawling pneumonia.
Johnny: Oh, he doesn't have crawling pneumonia, Moira!
Moira: I don't want to say I told you so, but this is an infelicitous burden. I could be at Ronnie's right now, preparing for the post-screening Q&A.

Moira: John, remind me to reprimand that latch, it's been awfully moody today.
Johnny: Well, good-good morning, Sweetheart. Look who's come to see you.
Moira: Finally. I'll have the continental breakfast with the fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice. [John chuckles] Orange Pekoe tea.
Johnny: No, Moira, Moira, it's - it's David and Patrick. Don't we have something we want to say?
Moira: Yes, thank you, John. Sadly, I won't be able to squire you for today's wedding venue peregrination.
Alexis: You invited Mom? She's literally been asleep in a closet for a week.
Moira: Just know that missing this will be the heavy-hearted part of my day.