David: Um, is that your juice?
Patrick: Ah, no. Technically, I think it's our juice, ah, because you just took it from the fridge and didn't pay for it so Mm-hm.
David: Um, it's just that I don't normally share beverages with people.
Patrick: Really? That is shocking news.
David: Yeah. Yeah. Fortunately, um, you look like you have a clean mouth, so...
Patrick: Sorry. A clean mouth?
David: Yeah. Some people have nice, clean mouths, and some people have sloppy mouths.
Patrick: I see.

Stevie: Ooh, what's that?
Patrick: What's what?
Stevie: You got a little red um is that a bug bite? Or a little mouth shaped sunburn? Looks like a hickey, actually.
Patrick: But it's not- It's not a- It's not a hickey, right? Because that would be disgusting, and wildly unprofessional. David, did you give me a hickey?!
David: Okay no, I didn't, I gave you a- a half hickey, because we haven't had the time or the privacy for me to give you a full hickey!

Patrick: Ah, either way you do need to call the electrician to hang these lights that were supposed to be up a week ago.
David: Yeah. Yeah. I was waiting I was waiting for a call back from him.
Patrick: Mm.
David: But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna follow up.
Patrick: Sure.
David: Can I have my juice back, please?
Patrick: No. You have a sloppy mouth.

Patrick: So we're doing all of this so that you can prove our relationship is exciting?
David: I failed the stupid quiz, and Alexis made me feel bad about it.
Alexis: David, you're basically 40 years old, I shouldn't be able to make you feel bad about anything.
David: I love our relationship. I love it when you order me pizza. I love when you use words like inventory! I even love those stupid rubber things you put on your fingers, 'cause you think they flip the pages faster. They don't flip the pages faster. They don't flip the pages faster! I'm so sorry!
Patrick: We're gonna talk about the fact that we missed half a day of work to make this happen, But you did just do a tree walk 30 feet in the air for us.
David: Yes, I did.

Patrick: So I didn't love seeing my boyfriend kissing some other guy.
David: I'm sorry, are you saying you were jealous?
Patrick: David, I'm not playing this game with you.
David: No, you just said you didn't like seeing your boyfriend kissing another guy.
Patrick: Okay, fine. He's a handsome guy. I might've been a little jealous.
David: So, you think he's handsome then?
Patrick: What? [sighs] He's like- He goes to the gym.
David: Goes to the gym?
Patrick: Oh, my God.
David: Wow, okay, so when you said you were jealous, were you saying you were jealous of him, or jealous of me? Because I thought you were saying you were jealous of him.
Patrick: Both?
David: Not the answer I was looking for.

Patrick: David, I love you, and I really appreciate what you were trying to do for me, but I feel no need to meet up with other guys right now.
David: Okay, I mean if that's what you want, then I guess I'm... I'm fine with it, I mean, I'm easy either way. [David and Patrick kiss]
Patrick: Oh. Also, this is gonna sound totally petty, but something about his shoes just made me feel really weird, 'cause they were like, long and pointy, but then...
David: Squared off at the toe.
Patrick: Yes!
David: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I know, it's okay. It's okay.
Patrick: Okay, this is a really long hug now.
David: Just need one more minute, mmm-hmm.

David: I was ready to get back together days ago!
Patrick: What?
David: Yes.
Patrick: Then why didn't we?
David: I've never been in this situation before. Where someone's been so nice to me. And generous.
Patrick: I'm sorry, were you holding back on talking to me because you were getting gifts?
David: I was very upset, and confused. So upset, that I barely finished the chocolates.
Patrick: David, this wasn't meant to be some Advent calendar of apologies, it was like an olive branch to get you to talk to me.
David: I just, I guess, didn't know, how many olive branches you were planning on extending.
Patrick: Ideally, one!

Patrick: David, what is going on?
David: You're wearing a blindfold. I'm not just gonna tell you what's going on. [clears throat] Okay. You can take it off now.
Patrick: Hey, you do know that I've already seen this house, right?
David: I do.
Patrick: So then why are we here?
David: Because I put an offer in. And they accepted.
Patrick: What? What about New York? I thought that's where you wanted to be?
David: I thought so, too. But it's not where you wanna be. And I don't wanna be anywhere you don't wanna be.
Patrick: David, I promise I will make you so happy here.
David: You fucking better.

David: So inevitably there might come a point where you find yourself curious about being with other people. So why not explore that now, so that we don't have to have this conversation five years down the line.
Patrick: Oh, so you think we're gonna be together 5-years from now?
David: I think a cute boy gave you his number, and you should go for dinner, and run free. Best case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Worst case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Fun!

David: Well, this was a success.
Patrick: I would say so. Yeah. Although, you know, we'd be, uh, 25 percent richer if we just done a hard launch. But hey, I'm just a numbers guy.
David: Mm-hm. Um, but had we not done the soft launch we wouldn't have lured all those people.
Patrick: Mm. Well, you know, the best thing is that we never have to talk about it again because we've officially open.
David: That is true.
Patrick: Congratulations, man.
David: Congratulations to you. [Patrick and David hug]
Patrick: [light flickers] I can fix that.