‘Galentine's Day’
Season 6, Episode 17 - Aired March 20, 2014
Leslie is missing Ann so she decides to hold an off-season Galentine's Day to find a replacement friend. Ron jumps at the chance to do some outdoor, solitary government work to give himself a break from being a parent. Meanwhile, Tom and Ben deal with a difficult local businessman as they try to secure tents for the unity concert.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Okay, don't let me interrupt. April, what's the 411, little mama? What's the hot goss? Who you crushing on these days?
April: Ew, my husband, weirdo. Can I get back to work now? Thanks. Bye.
Leslie Knope: Work? You can work whenever. Except for now, because now is lady time.
April: You sound like a tampon commercial.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: I'm setting up an impromptu Galentine's day.
April: Really?
Leslie Knope: Yeah.
April: Wait, I thought you weren't gonna do Galentine's day this year because that she-beast moved away. I believe her name was Satan?
Leslie Knope: Her name is Ann, and she is gone, and I have accepted it, and we are gonna have Galentine's day.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Hey, Ron. Can I ask you kind of an important question? You know, like, when you go to the ATM and you get money, is there an actual guy standing behind the wall who slides dollar bills in there?
Ron Swanson: No.
Andy: Yeah. It's robots. Oh, actually, you know what? I do have a serious question. In the movie Predator, can you rub any kind of mud on yourself to prevent predator from seeing you with his thermal heat signature sight, or is it more-- [falls off jungle gym] Ow! That sucks.
Ron Swanson: Are you hurt?
Andy: [groans] No. All good. All good. Oops. Except for my mouth. [Ron picks up Andy's tooth] Oh, whoa. Five-second rule. [Andy tries to put it in his mouth] No, ahh.
Ron Swanson: Come on, we better get you to a dentist.
Quote from Jerry
Tom: Oh, my God, Larry. Your tuna fish sandwich stunk up my suit.
Jerry: Gayle made it for me.
Tom: Irrelevant. You know what? Stay out here and double-check these deal memos. If you get through 'em, triple-check 'em. Just don't come inside.
Jerry: Sounds good. I will finish my sandwich and enjoy the view.
Quote from Tom
Ben: Hey, Harvey. Ben Wyatt. We spoke on the phone.
Harvey: Yeah. Yeah, we sure did. Okay. [chuckles] Who's this little genie right here?
Tom: Tom Haverford, Pawnee business liaison.
Harvey: [chuckles] Okay. Got your contracts for you right here.
Ben: Wow. It's a lot thicker than the original one-page version.
Harvey: I take tents pretty seriously, Ben, I'm a tent guy. I got over 1,300 tents in this warehouse alone. 900 of those are over 2,000 square feet, 80 of 'em are striped, and exactly 4 of 'em were once rented by Miss Rene Russo.
Tom: Whoa!
Harvey: Yeah. No doy. I think I know what I'm doing. So I added a few syllables and whatnot. Clauses, et cetera. Addendums, what have you. Why don't we go ahead and sign that for me?
Ben: Yeah, I think we're gonna need to take a look at this.
Tom: Hmm. So I guess this is not a straightforward deal. [throws fedora to the ground]
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Hmm. April?
April: Ooh, I love watching Russian traffic accidents on YouTube while I play children's music at the wrong RPM.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: I like beauty pageants. Everyone is so happy and perfect.
Ethel Beavers: I like Diagnosis Murder. And skin flicks. Can anybody top me off?
Leslie Knope: The correct answer for favorite TV show is Friday Night Lights.
Donna: The correct answer?
Quote from Ben
Ben: Okay, this contract is insane. It costs extra to have people inside the tents? And what's a flap tax?
Harvey: Well, you need flaps, bro. A tent without flaps is basically a parachute.
Tom: An unfolding charge? A noise damage waiver? How can noise damage tents?
Harvey: Shh. Keep your voice down, please, there's tents here. Now, look, you can argue with me all you want, but for every line item that you two idiots disagree with, there's gonna be a $50 discussion surcharge. What are we up to, doll?
Woman: $400.
Ben: A discussion surcharge? That's nuts.
Harvey: $450.
Ben: That's it. Deal's off. We'll take our business elsewhere.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: The receptionist says she'll fit you in as soon as there's an opening. If you're all right, I'm gonna head back to the park.
Andy: Wait, wait, wait, real quick, real quick. Do you know what my social security number is? Or if I'm allergic to anything? I don't like corn. Should I put that down? Or will that be confusing? Because I do like candy corn. Oh, Ron. What a mess.
Ron Swanson: [groans] Here, let me help you.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: All I wanted was two hours where I got to forget that I was a parent.
Andy: Ron, look. I found all three differences.
Ron Swanson: Those are two completely different pictures.
Quote from Donna
April: "Ladies' choice."
Leslie Knope: Ooh! Wild card option. Okay, anybody reveal anything about their life, anything at all.
Donna: I've gotten two annulments. [Leslie gasps] One for pleasure, and one to cap off a long con I was running against Keith Sweat.