Leslie Knope: Mm, I don't want to drive back. I miss you so much. No one even comes close to you as a friend. I even tried to rank the women at work, but that was a total bust.
Ann: You ranked them?
Leslie Knope: Well, I thought maybe I could use Galentine's day as an opportunity-
Ann: [gasps] Leslie, Galentine's day?
Leslie Knope: What do you want me to do, Ann? I need to find a replacement, and don't worry, it didn't work. Nobody can match your ethnic hybrid energy.
Ann: Everybody brings their own unique strengths to the table. Some that even I don't have.
Leslie Knope: You shut your mouth. You have all the strengths.

Ann: Look, you love harder than anyone I know. It's tough to match. And I know Donna and April don't show it, but they would do anything for you. And it's not like you and I always see eye to eye. I mean, Friday Night Lights? I am more of a Riggins girl, and you lean Saracen.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, 'cause Riggins is a criminal.
Ann: He took the fall for his brother.
Leslie Knope: Okay, he didn't watch out for his brother.
Ann: You know, I'm not having this conversation with you again.
Leslie Knope: That family is garbage.
Ann: [sighs] The point is we didn't always like the same stuff when we first became friends. Just don't force it. Give it some time.

Leslie Knope: I know, you're right, Ann. Thank you. It's just I'm missing you, and there's so much stuff I want to talk to you about.
Ann: Well, you're here now, so let's talk. [baby cries]
Leslie Knope: Oh. I think Oliver has more pressing business.
Ann: Okay, but we should talk soon, 'cause I almost bought a toe ring the other day.
Leslie Knope: What? Ann, you're somebody's mother.
Ann: I know.
Leslie Knope: Okay. I'm gonna give you two some time. I'll call you from the car.

Andy: Thanks for doing this, Ron. When it's all said and done, there were a few mazes I'd cheated on. Also, the inside of my mouth is black and hot. So do I strip down to my underwear, or all the way naked?

Ben: The compromise is that you're gonna sign the deal we originally agreed upon. We're going to let you continue renting tents, and you're going to do it at a fair price. And Larry, he's the guy that brought you down, and he's gonna be watching you like a hawk.
Jerry: [playing with the Newtons Cradle desk toy] Oh, hey. I'm Larry. Great to know you. I love tent world.
Tom: God! Can you just be cool for one second?

Leslie Knope: Okay, black coffee with extra grounds. Gross. For April. And a mocha ice blended for Donna. Guys, I totally blew it. I was all screwed up, and I'm really sorry. You're wonderful friends, and I love you.
Donna: We love your crazy ass too, Knope.
April: I think you're fine. Like a solid B-minus.
Leslie Knope: Great. I'll take it.

April: We know you've been missing Ann, so we... got you this.
Donna: Press the paw.
Ann: [on toy] Hi, Leslie. It's Ann. I love you, and everything's gonna be okay.
Donna: It's cute, right?
Leslie Knope: I'm very lucky to have you both. You know, when Ann and I used to fight, we would make up with a five-minute hug.
April: Mm, you touch me and I stab the bunny.
Donna: Yeah, it's about time for my mid-morning mani, so I'm gonna head out.
Leslie Knope: Okay. Well, that's fine. Well, you know, we'll forge our own unique traditions in the fiery cauldron of female friendship.
April: [on toy] I'm just an impartial bunny, but I think Ann sucks. Also... [gruff voice] I'm the zodiac killer.

Tom: And we might even be able to pull it off under budget.
Jerry: Sorry. Sorry, you guys, I'm sorry. I'm trying to find my inhaler, 'cause I'm having a little...
Tom: Take your time. I mean, it's not like we're trying to get work done here.
April: Yeah, and Larry, by the way, you're looking in the wrong spot. Your inhaler is hidden under the pile of pistachio shells on my desk, obviously.
Jerry: Okay, well, that's funny, 'cause I'm terribly allergic to pistachios.
Andy: [chuckles] Classic.

Ben: Okay, you know what? I need to say something. [stands on table] I like Larry. He is a good friend and a fine man with an inexplicably gorgeous wife. I mean, to the point where it makes no sense at all. Sorry. Getting off track. He is a nice person, and we should all stand up and say, "I... like..."
Tom: Ben! No! What are you doing?
Donna: Uh, he's embarrassing himself and throwing away his career.
Leslie Knope: Sweetheart, stop.
Ben: O, captain, my captain.
Ron Swanson: What is happening?
Ben: Larry is my friend.
Jerry: Thank you, Ben. I mean that. [walks into trash can] Oh. [farts] Got so startled I tooted.