Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.

Lorelai: How late can you stay, Sookie?
Sookie: As late as you want. Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
Lorelai: What's that, farm jargon?
Sookie: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
Sookie: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
Lorelai: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
Sookie: He's sleeping with the zucchini.

Lorelai: [on the phone] What do you look like. Do you look the same?
Rory: Hold on. My nose ring is itching.
Lorelai: Don't kid. I'm mad and needy, and I ended up going out to dinner alone with my parents, who bickered the whole time about which Beatle is alive and which is dead.
Rory: So, where'd they land?
Lorelai: John and Keith are dead. Paul and Bingo are still kicking.

Emily: You know what? I'm not returning the gift. I'm going to put it away in a closet and you won't know what it is until you do get married someday.
Lorelai: Tell me now.
Emily: Sorry.
Lorelai: Come on, I may never get married. I may be a free spirit my whole life or I'll fall in love with a separated Catholic guy like Katharine Hepburn did and then not get to go to his funeral when he dies.