Lorelai Quote #1051
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.
Quote from Luke
Luke: It's time to lay down a few ground rules, sit. All right, first off, when she is up here, that door stays open.
Jess: Excuse me?
Luke: You are not allowed on either end of this apartment. You are, instead, to remain here in the middle portion of the room. You may sit on the couch or on the chair, as long as you two are sitting on separate seats, i.e. when you're on the couch, then she's on the chair. When she's on the couch, then you're on the chair.
Jess: I get it, thank you.
Luke: On weekdays, you will have her home by nine. On weekends, you will have her home by eleven. Any evidence of alcohol, cigarette smoke, or anything else that Nancy Reagan would find unacceptable and you will not be allowed near her without an adult present. Are these rules clear?
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Rory, let me explain something to you. The way you survive a road trip with my mother is to make sure you have all your bases covered, leave nothing to chance. Never give her the opportunity to give you a thirty-minute lecture on how, if you'd brought the second bathing suit like she told you to, it wouldn't have mattered that the first one's strap broke in a freak pool slide incident that no one, including the Amazing Kreskin, could've predicted, you would've been covered.
Rory: I have to bring a bathing suit? It's thirty degrees outside.
Lorelai: This was an example based on a true story. Now, get a skirt to go with this.
Rory: But I'm still confused. When are we changing?
Lorelai: Not the point.
Rory: We're driving, we're walking, we're eating tacos, and we're driving again.
Lorelai: Check the list.
Rory: Why do I need rain boots?
Lorelai: Why are you still questioning me?
Rory: Should I bring both a rain hat and an umbrella, or will one or the other do? Forget it, stupid question.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!
Rory: I know she sounds nuts, but it's a very common cartoon.
Richard: But that doesn't prove that anvils were so common.
Lorelai: It does. It proves that anvils were so ubiquitous at one point - Is that the word, ubiquitous?
Rory: It depends on where you're going.
Lorelai: That they knew that children would know what they were and delight in them. That's how common they were, children watching cartoons.
Rory: That was the word.
Richard: I've forgotten your point.
Lorelai: Where are all the anvils? I mean, is there some sort of secret anvil storage facility the government is keeping from us?
Richard: Or they fell into disuse with the advent of other technologies, and so they melted them down and they're gone.
Lorelai: But they're not supposed to melt. They were made to withstand the red-hot hammer of the town blacksmith.
Emily: This is easily the most pointless conversation we've ever had.
Lorelai: I don't hear anyone chiming in with rational theories.