Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.

Lorelai: I just figured, you know, we'd go to Luke's for breakfast.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Because I like Luke's breakfast.
Luke: I am Luke.
Lorelai: I know.
Luke: And this is the same stuff I make at the diner.
Lorelai: I know.
Luke: So what's the difference?
Lorelai: Well, the difference is, while you are Luke, we're not at Luke's.
Luke: So?
Lorelai: Well, I have my things, you know? I have certain things. And one of my things is going to Luke's. And just because I now have "Dating Luke" doesn't mean I want to lose my "Cooking Luke."
Luke: But I am cooking, and I am Luke.

Paris: How loud are you?
Rory: Paris, stop.
Paris: Look, I don't care. I just need the information to formulate a good plan. I mean, you look all small and squeaky, but sometimes, it's exactly the bunny-looking girls who can blow the roof off the barn. I know, just give me a three-minute warning.
Rory: I'm walking away now.
Paris: That way, I have time to put everything in place. Put headphones on, et cetera.
Rory: Bye.
Paris: Is he gonna be coming over a lot? Probably, right? He's at his peak now, and it's probably one of the only things he's good at so...
Rory: Three-minute warning!

Kirk: I took it upon myself to poll the town, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with the results.
Sookie: We are?
Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Sookie: Already?
Lorelai: We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.

Lorelai: Look, it's like Tommy Lee having a Starbucks at his house.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: On the surface, it sounds great. But half the reason you go to a Starbucks is to go to a Starbucks, you know, to go out and see the people.
Luke: Tommy Lee has a Starbucks in his house?
Lorelai: Cribs, baby. Watch it.
Luke: Like a whole Starbucks with workers and everything?
Lorelai: The point is that, while some things have changed - and that's great - I don't want everything to change completely.
Luke: Okay. I'll see you at Luke's.
Lorelai: Ah, I'll see you at Luke's!

Lorelai: This is a nice man who is growing some very nice tomatoes, and you just need to oil your knees and go see the wizard and get a heart and drop this!
Taylor Doose: What is this, Lorelai? Lingering resentment over the parking space issue?
Lorelai: Well, come on, you rejected it because I left out my middle name. How many other Lorelai Gilmores do you know?
Taylor Doose: Well, there's your daughter.
Lorelai: Okay. So you know two. Bet you can't name a third, unless you knew my grandma.

Kirk: Oh, there you are. You won't believe it. Big news.
Lorelai: Kirk, sit down.
Kirk: Can't. These aren't my pants. I have the results of my latest poll. I talked to every single person in town, and unanimously, they're all voting for Jackson.
Sookie: What?
Jackson: Are you sure?
Kirk: I am sure. I talked to everyone except Taylor - but I assumed he was voting for himself - and they all told me the same thing.
Sookie: We're going to win? I'm gonna be the first town selectman lady.
Jackson: I can't believe it.
Lorelai: Kirk, you're sure about this? Every single person?
Kirk: Every person except Taylor. And even that's not a lock, 'cause hatred for Taylor runs very deep.

Lorelai: Oh, my God. Come on. How long is this taking you?
Rory: We do not harass the voters. This is not Florida.

Paris: My batteries are dead.
Rory: Hold on, Lane. Your batteries?
Paris: For my headphones. When's Dean getting here?
Rory: Calm down, Paris. We're just gonna watch a movie, and you're welcome to join us.
Paris: Please. You're 19. Unless it's Shoah, you two are getting carnal.

Luke: Hey, you're up.
Lorelai: Hey, you're cooking.
Luke: Yep, making the works. Even threw a couple blintzes in there to confuse you.
Lorelai: Wow. Where did all this come from?
Luke: What?
Lorelai: The food, the pans, the bowls, the spatula.
Luke: Food's from Doose's, pans and bowls, you had, and the spatula's mine.
Lorelai: You travel with a spatula?
Luke: Sometimes.
Lorelai: You've actually found yourself in scraping and flipping situations without the trusty spatula before?