Lorelai: [on the phone] What do you look like. Do you look the same?
Rory: Hold on. My nose ring is itching.
Lorelai: Don't kid. I'm mad and needy, and I ended up going out to dinner alone with my parents, who bickered the whole time about which Beatle is alive and which is dead.
Rory: So, where'd they land?
Lorelai: John and Keith are dead. Paul and Bingo are still kicking.

Rory: [on the phone] I could have sworn I told you.
Lorelai: I just reread every e-mail you sent in the past ten days. No sickness mention, but you did share these gems: "Hey, what up? Is it freezing there, too? [chuckles] Ice." And, "Whew. Pooped." Then you added one of those obnoxious hieroglyphics that I can never read that are supposed to indicate you're laughing or smiling or frowning or vomiting. I don't know what.
Rory: That's a typo. I don't do cutesy symbols.
Lorelai: You're not even using verbs. That's not a relationship. Relationships need verbs.

Lorelai: Man, I love e-mail. Every day Rory and I write each other multiple times. It's great.
Luke: You enjoy typing to people more than talking to them?
Lorelai: Wrong perspective. E-mail is a return to the romantic days of letter writing. It's pure Dickens.
Luke: Why Dickens?
Lorelai: It's just when I picture letter writing, I picture Charles Dickens.
Luke: Charles Dickens wrote more letters than other people?
Lorelai: No, it's just I can easily picture him in his study with his dog and his pipe and his fancy feathered pen, writing "Cheerio, old bean. Have a cup of tea. How's Big Ben? How's the Tower of London? Sister Suffragette? Tuppence a bag."
Luke: Sounds like an idiot.

Richard: You love Bastide. Why don't we try that place Jason took me to last week? A lot of hip clientele. He pointed out Moby to me. He's that bald musician.
Lorelai: Yep, that's pretty hip, Dad.
Emily: When did you have dinner with Moby?
Richard: Well, Moby was just there. Jason played me some of his music later. I liked it.
Emily: We're going to Bastide, but don't fret. Maybe the Beatles will be there and you can sit in and jam with them.
Richard: Two of the Beatles are dead, Emily.
Emily: Only one is dead.
Richard: No, a second Beatle died just recently.

Lorelai: This is the least amount of fun I've ever had, barring the time we went to Mummenschanz.
Rory: Oh, this is way less fun.
Lorelai: Window-shopping? What was I thinking?
Rory: But it sounds fun. It should be fun.
Lorelai: Not if you think about it. I mean, window-shopping is like going to a museum, but you're actually interested in what you're looking at, and everyone can buy something except for you.
Rory: I've made so many mental notes in my head of things to get that I think my head has actually gotten bigger.
Lorelai: Look at all these haughty people with their bags, just rubbing our faces in it. What were Roz Russell and Ava Gardner thinking?
Rory: What movie did you see them window-shop in?
Lorelai: I don't know that I did. I just picked two old movie-actress names. I don't know that I've seen anyone window-shop in a movie ever.
Rory: So, this whole outing was a house of sand built on a foundation of straw.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Mom said the summer clothing lines are out. Want to go shopping? We haven't done that in ages.
Rory: But we're both totally skint.
Lorelai: Huh? We're what?
Rory: We're skint. Broke. It's British.
Lorelai: [gasps] Oh man, you've learned to speak British. I didn't even know about it.
Rory: You know what I mean.

Luke: What is this?
Lorelai: Phone cord.
Luke: I can't have this here.
Lorelai: Don't worry. It's not plugged in to your regular line. It's the fax line you put in a year ago that you never use.
Luke: You mean the fax line you made me put in to get in fax orders, even though no one has ever wanted to put in a fax order, and I never got the fax machine, like I told you I would never, ever get the fax machine, making the fax line pointless.
Lorelai: Hold on, let me get on the "Guinness World Records" website. Yes, that's the most times anyone has ever used the word "fax" in a sentence.

Luke: No, I mean you doing okay with everything?
Lorelai: You're referring to my meltdown in the park.
Luke: It wasn't a meltdown.
Lorelai: Oh, it was a meltdown. They're making it into a movie, Meltdown in the Park. Don't worry, it's just a working title. Baz Luhrmann's directing. And the movie Luke wears tights and sings.
Luke: But you're okay?
Lorelai: Thanks to my knight in shining armor.
Luke: Ah, well.
Lorelai: I just hope Alec Baldwin captures your rare essence.
Luke: And slims down a little for the role.

Luke: You have a dog there?
Kirk: No. Why?
Luke: Just putting two and two together.
Kirk: Well, it's coming out five. Buster is at home, asleep.
Luke: Okay. What'll you have?
Kirk: Oatmeal, extra brown sugar on the side, and a pound of raw hamburger. [off Luke's look] Or just the oatmeal will be fine.

Paris: What are you doing?
Rory: Getting a drink.
Paris: You're sick.
Rory: Hence the fluids.
Paris: When you came out of our room, did you use the doorknob?
Rory: As opposed to dematerializing, passing vapor-like through the wall, then rematerializing out here? No, I used the doorknob.