Chandler: What it comes down to is you'd risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Joey: No, not exactly. All right, look. I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was trying to save my sandwich.
Chandler: From a bullet?
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense.
Chandler: "Much" sense?

Joey: Look, Chandler, it was instinct. Okay. I just went for it.
Chandler: So you risked your life for a sandwich?
Joey: I know it sounds crazy but, Chandler, this is the greatest sandwich in the world.

Ross: Rach, what are you doing here?
Rachel: Hey, you know what? You are in our apartment all the time. Okay. This is just a drop in the bucket, mister.

Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near-death experience.
Rachel: What? What happened?
Ross: Okay, oaky. We were on the ride-along with Gary, right, and somebody took a shot at me!
Rachel: Whoa. Really?
Ross: No. A car backfired. But I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And, Rach I survived. And I was filled with this great respect for life. I want to experience every moment.
I want to seize every opportunity. I am seeing everything so clearly now.
Rachel: Because a car backfired?
Ross: Okay, why are you here?

Rachel: Okay? I was right. Your decision.
Ross: Right. I guess I should call Emily.
Rachel: Okay, no. No, that's not the right decision. That's not right. Ross, come on. I mean that woman made you miserable. Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Ross: Okay, look. Yesterday I wouldn't have even considered calling her back. But my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near-death experience? That's gotta mean something.
Rachel: Ross, that was not a near-death experience. That was barely an experience.
Ross: You weren't there!

Ross: Maybe this is something that I'm supposed to seize, you know?
Rachel: Okay. You know what? Maybe this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff.
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: Okay? Look at today. I mean, you escaped ... death. You know, and maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily.
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do want to seize some opportunity but I really don't want to see or talk to her.

Ross: Wait, wait. The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Rachel: Oh.
Answering Machine: Hey, Ross, it's you-
Ross: That's an old message. Nobody needs to hear that.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, was Monica here?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: I want my money back.
Rachel: You probably need that for stamps, right?

Ross: I wonder how I'd react under fire. And not backfire but heavy fire. Like, if I was in a war or something.
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war. I mean, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean, I know I would make general before any of you guys.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?

Phoebe: You all know I'm a pacifist, so I'm not interested in war in any way. But, you know what, when the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. Not you, Joey.

Rachel: Please don't be from a real dinosaur. Please, please. Please, please. "Made in Mexico." Yes! Ugh, who would buy this?