Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Monica: Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay, it's a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.
Monica: Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
Monica: All right. You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast. But damn it, we can eat!

Ross: Hey, Ross, it's you. I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive. So live every day to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. And also get stamps. Bye.

Ross: So, where are we going next?
Gary: This witness won't return my calls. We'll surprise him coming home.
Chandler: Surprise him? We're not gonna make anybody mad, are we?
Joey: Come on, man. So you gonna squeeze the perp's shoes a bit before he lawyers up?
Gary: He's a witness, not a perp. And no one tawks like that.
Ross: Yeah. No one tawks like that.

Chandler: So you didn't choose Ross before me?
Joey: No. I would never do that. You're like my brother.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Yeah. In fact, to prove how much you mean to me. [Joey unwraps the sandwich and hands it to Chandler] Here.
Chandler: Thanks.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. Easy, it's not a hot dog! How good is that?
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Joey: See? [Chandler gets ready to take another bite] Whoa, Dude, what are you doing?
Chandler: I thought you're showing me how much I mean to you.
Joey: Yeah, with a bite. Jeez!