Phoebe: Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing!

Manny: I knew you'd be here!
Mike: Oh, crap.
Phoebe: Who is this?
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Monica: Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe.
Manny: Well, you're not doing a very good job.
Monica: Excuse me?
Manny: What's with the kissing?
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Manny: Yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing.
Monica: You didn't hear the speech.
Manny: I've heard the speech. If he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her-
Monica: Hey, it was very moving. You're just heartless.
Manny: You're weak.
Monica: You're weird.
Manny: Your pants are undone.
Monica: Oh!

Ross: Have you seen this? It's our new alumni website for college. It's cool. You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Chandler: Oh, great. A faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless.

Ross: It's actually kind of interesting to find out what people are doing. Remember Andrea Rich?
Chandler: That tall girl that wouldn't sleep with you?
Ross: Well, her Internet company went under, and she lost an ear in a boating accident.
Chandler: Bet she'd sleep with you now.
Ross: No, I already e-mailed her.

Rachel: Hey. How was basketball?
Joey: It was a lot fun. Yeah, right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye.
Rachel: Oh, no. Who did that?
Joey: Chandler.

Phoebe: I mean, I know I did the right thing. Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future. But pretty soon, I'm gonna miss him so much I'm gonna want to see him again, and you have to stop me from doing that.
Monica: Okay, you got it.
Phoebe: Unless- Am I being too crazy about this? All right, so, you know, there's no future. But that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Monica: Really? All right, if that's what you want.
Phoebe: That was a test, and you just failed.
Monica: Damn it. Rookie mistake.

Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page.
Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things.
Ross: You better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Chandler: I don't have a page.
Ross: Oh, oh, oh. I respectfully disagree.

Monica: Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are "as gay as the day is long"?
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Monica: Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.

Chandler: Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Monica: Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too. Well, I guess I should've known. Yeah, he just kept making me watch "Moulin Rouge."

Ross: Unbelievable. My classmates are gonna think I'm dead. My professors. My parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West.