‘The One with the Memorial Service’
Season 9, Episode 17 - Aired March 13, 2003
A prank between Chandler and Ross involving their college alumni website escalates. Meanwhile, Phoebe asks Monica to help her get over Mike, and Joey is unhappy sharing his childhood toy, Hugsy, with Emma.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: All right, so give me your phone.
Phoebe: Here.
Monica: And now your cell.
Phoebe: Okay. There you go.
Monica: This is your cell phone?
Phoebe: Yes.
Monica: This is your current cell phone?
Phoebe: Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can't find it?
Joey: No, don't worry about it. I swallowed that years ago.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: I don't think she likes the new Huggsy.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: Yeah, but I think she wants the old one back.
Joey: Yeah, but he's the same.
Rachel: Joey, come on.
Joey: But he's the same! You're not the same.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Aha!
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she-
Monica: This doesn't concern you!
Mike: Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Oh, my God. Nobody cares that I'm dead?
Chandler: Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross: What are you talking about? You get 60 responses just for coming out of the closet. I didn't get one response, and I'm dead.
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Quote from Chandler
Tom: I'm so sorry about Ross, it's-
Chandler: No, at least he died doing what he loved. Watching blimps.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: So did you know Ross well?
Tom: Oh, actually, I barely knew him. I came because I heard Chandler's news. Do you know if he's seeing anyone?
Monica: Yes, he is. Me.
Tom: What? You mean? Oh. Okay. Can I ask you a personal question? How do you shave your beard so close?
Chandler: Okay, Tommy. That's enough mourning for you. Here we go. Bye-bye. All right.
Tom: Hey, listen. Call me.
Chandler: Okay.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: This isn't ridiculous. Look around, no one's here.
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice. Not everyone in our class checks the website every day. And Monica, it's probably the way you stand.
Quote from Chandler
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston?
Kori: Yeah.
Chandler: You look amazing.
Kori: And you are?
Chandler: Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.
Monica: You are married, though.
Chandler: Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood.