Janice: I'm telling you, Rachel. Listen to Janice. They all say they're gonna be there, until they start their real family.
Rachel: That's never gonna happen with Ross.
Janice: That's what I thought about my first husband. Now, I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Miss New Boobs.

Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear-? Mother of God, it's true.
Janice: Chandler Bing. [laughs]
Chandler: Janice.
Ross: Not just Janice. Janice in labor. Contracting and everything.

Chandler: Janice, I didn't even know you were pregnant. Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?
Janice: It's you. This is yours.
Chandler: What?
Janice: Ha, look how nervous he gets. We haven't slept together in years. [laughs]
Chandler: That's funny. Does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?

Rachel: Oh, that's five, Ross. Five women have had five babies and I have had no babies. Why doesn't she want to come out?
Ross: You know what I think it is? I think you made such a nice home for her over the last nine months, that she just doesn't want to leave.
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me.

Monica: Honey, what's the matter?
Rachel: Nothing. I'm sorry. I just can't stop crying.
Ross: The doctor said it's completely normal with all the hormones, plus you're sleep-deprived.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep-deprived. I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh, God.
Joey: What's the matter now?
Rachel: I was reliving it.

Ross: Actually, we've narrowed it down to two names.
Rachel: Yeah. And you know what? I love them both, so why don't you just pick one and that'll be it.
Ross: Wow, okay. Everyone? This is Isabella.
Phoebe: Hi, Isabella.
Rachel: Hi. [sobbing]
Ross: What?
Rachel: That's not her name. I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella.
Joey: What was the other one, Ross?
Ross: Delilah.
Rachel: Oh, great. Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.

Ross: Ahem, so, I guess we're back to Baby Girl.
Phoebe: Yay.

Monica: It's okay, honey. You'll find a name.
Ross: Easy for you to say. You already know what your kids' names are going to be.
Chandler: You do?
Monica: Yeah, I've had them picked out since I was 14.
Chandler: Oh, no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?

Ross: It's just, Rachel and I, we're doing really well now.
Phoebe: I know. I know. If you try to make it more, you might wreck it.
Ross: Yeah, exactly.
Phoebe: Right. Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.

Rachel: I've just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Rachel: Please. He'll be with his real family. The twins and little Miss New Boobs.
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?