Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Monica: Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay, it's a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.
Monica: Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
Monica: All right. You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast. But damn it, we can eat!

Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

Amy: Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything because you know, you'd be dead. But I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.
Ross: Emma.
Amy: Emma, Ross wants you.
Phoebe: Phoebe!
Amy: Why does she keep making that noise?

Monica: That's it. You know what? You've had your chance. Mom, Dad. Ross smoked pot in college.
Jack & Judy: What?
Ross: You are such a tattletale. Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Jack and Judy Geller: Yes. [They both look at Chandler]
Ross: I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: It was you?
Monica: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did.

Judy Geller: Chandler, you've been Ross' best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems, and now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.
Chandler: Thank you.
Jack Geller: No. Thank you!

Judy Geller: That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds. All right. Joey, if you want to leave, just leave. Rachel, no, you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me.
Jack Geller: And we kind of figured about the porch swing.
Judy Geller: Ross. Drugs? Divorced again?