Robert: You know, I was actually thinking that Mom was starting to appreciate me for myself, just like she appreciates Raymond. Idiot, idiot, idiot!
Amy: Oh, Robert. It's okay. She appreciates you.
Robert: Yeah. I'm her prize stud.
Amy: Hey, if you think about it, she appreciates you so much that she can't wait to have a bunch of little Roberts running all over the place.
Robert: Little Roberts.
Amy: Or little Robertas. You know, it's actually kinda sweet in its own manipulative, creepy way. It's like she built a little nest for us.

Amy: I'm sure it's not you. Hey, maybe he's sick.
Debra: Nah. I wish he was, but, oh, man, who am I kidding? I should just go with Marie to the "Y," put on a flowery swim cap and float around with the old ladies.
Amy: You know, it's funny you bringing this up, because last night when Robert and I went to bed, he was acting kind of distant too. But then I just kissed his neck and he said, "Ray's crazy."
Debra: He did?
Amy: Yeah. And then he said something about how I could have all the power. It was weird. He usually doesn't like to mention Ray in the bedroom. He says it inhibits him.

Amy: You know every child goes through this rebellious phase. I did. One time in church choir, we were all supposed to sing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," and my friend and I sang "What a Friend We Have in Cheez-its."

Debra: Amy, help me look.
Amy: I just came by- What are we looking for?
Debra: My engagement ring.
Amy: I might not be the best person to help. I've spent the last 10 years looking for an engagement ring.

Amy: Marie, I can't believe this means so much to you. But if it does, I'll write the notes as soon as I can.
Marie: And when will that be, dear? So I can tell everyone.
Amy: I don't know, Marie. Can't you just tell them they'll get them when they get them?
Marie: I see. I have to say, Amy, that I'm a little surprised and disappointed.
Amy: And I have to say, Marie, I really don't care about this right now.
[Marie takes off her pin and puts it back in the box. She then takes Frank's shrapnel]
Frank: Hey!
Marie: We're leaving, Frank.
Robert: Come on, Mom. You're being a little crazy about thi--
Marie: What did you say to me?
Robert: ... Nothing. [Marie and Frank exit]
Ray: Robbie's home!

Amy: I can't believe you. Somebody just drops by and you've got homemade cookies. You're amazing.
Debra: Yeah, Amy, I'm amazing. I can turn on the oven and cut up a log of dough.
Amy: I never get that far. I just peel back the plastic and eat it like a banana.

Debra: So, Amy, what's new with you?
Amy: Well, I just got the corner office-
Debra: No, pass that. Pass that. Get to the good stuff, the dating scene.
Amy: Oh, you don't wanna go back there, Deb. I feel like one of those things on the salad bar that nobody touches -'cause it's been sitting out there too long.
Debra: No. Come on, all you need is a little spritz of water. You should be more assertive.
Amy: Nah, that's not me. [to the twins] Maybe I'll just wait for one of you guys.

Amy: It's a tie. See the pattern? I picked it out just for you. Little guns.
Robert: Smith & Wesson 686, with a two-pound trigger pull. Standard police issue. I love it.

Helen: Okay, for more free Tupperware, it's time to play Guess Whose Nighty? Did everybody put their nighty in the bag?
Marie: No, I didn't bring one. I wasn't told about the party.
Helen: Well, why don't you pick first?
Marie: Okay.
Woman: I guess Amy.
Marie: Amy? No.
Amy: Hell, I never wear it. Actually, I bought it special for this game. Really. Robert's never seen it. I'm sorry.

Amy: Robert, I want you to know that even though we were speeding, there was never any... moving violation.
Robert: But speeding is-- Oh! Moving violation, right. So you still haven't--
Amy: No. Every time I date some other guy, I keep thinking of you.
Robert: Yeah, me too. I mean... You know what I mean.
Amy: Robert, you know, I knew that was your speed trap. I told him to drive faster. I wanted to see you.
Robert: You didn't need him. You could have driven yourself. I would have pulled you over so fast.
Amy: I've already got eight points. I didn't want to lose my license.
Robert: Pretty girl like you, would have let you off with a warning. [they kiss] Where are we going?
Amy: The bedroom.
Robert: But wait, we've never... And you've never ever... Are you sure?
Amy: I'm sure.
Robert: Really?
Amy: Robert, I've driven around long enough.