Julius: His school's not closed?
Rochelle: Well, they didn't mention it on the news.
Julius: Is he going to be all right?
Rochelle: Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine, baby. But look, I got to go. I left your breakfast on the stove.
Julius: Wait. Drew and Tonya are going to be here all day?
Rochelle: What? You got another home to take them to? I got to go, baby, I'm late. Love you.

Chris: Whoa! Man, what is wrong with you, sneaking up on people?
Principal Edwards: Chris, what are you doing here? School was cancelled today.
Chris: Since when?
Principal Edwards: They announced it about an hour ago.
Chris: I left the house an hour and a half ago.
Principal Edwards: Well, I suppose we should see about getting you home.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though Principal Edwards had traveled the world, he couldn't get me back to Brooklyn.
Principal Edwards: I'm sorry, Chris, I can't let you go.
Chris: Why not?
Principal Edwards: Our phones are out. You're not allowed to leave school without the consent of a parent or guardian.
Chris: So you're saying the only reason why I can't leave is 'cause I'm here?
Principal Edwards: That, my friend, is a paradox. [hits gong]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sounds more like C-block.
Principal Edwards: Why would your mother allow you to go out in weather like this?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She's crazy.
Chris: She doesn't like us to miss school.
Principal Edwards: Let's not disappoint her.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though the weather was horrible, my mother liked riding the subway. Being with strangers is a lot less stressful than being with your family.
Gunman: This is a stickup! [a woman screams] Shut up!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Aw, damn.
Rochelle: Aw, damn.
Conductor: [over PA] We're sorry for the sudden stop. If you'll all remain seated, we'll be on our way in a few minutes.
Gunman: Aw, damn!
Rochelle: Well?
Gunman: "Well" nothing. This is still a stickup. [the woman screams again] Will you be quiet?

Principal Edwards: All right, class. First up, I'm giving you a quiz on Pearl Harbor.
Chris: What? Ms. Morello didn't have a quiz planned for today.
Principal Edwards: Consider it a surprise, just like Pearl Harbor. Eyes on your own paper.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] With too much snow to stay outside, I went back inside to find crouching tiger, hidden principal.
Chris: Principal Edwards?
Principal Edwards: I thought you left.
Chris: Yeah, but I came back.
Principal Edwards: Yah! Captain Obvious strikes again. Hoo-ah!
Chris: I'm sorry.
Principal Edwards: Are you really? You did what you wanted to do. [grunting] Just didn't work out the way you planned.
Chris: It's not like I didn't want to take my classes. I haven't missed a day of school all year. I work hard. It's just that the one day I could spend at home relaxing, I'm stuck here with you. So what's the point in doing schoolwork today?
Principal Edwards: You know what? You're right.
Chris: I am?
Principal Edwards: Sure you are.
Chris: So what now?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ninja lessons?

Principal Edwards: I wanted this for my wife.
Chris: You're married?
Principal Edwards: I was. We split up a few years ago. She took the money and I kept the vase.
Chris: Figures.
Principal Edwards: This vase changed my life.
Chris: How's that?
Principal Edwards: It taught me one of life's great lessons. All that we have been or done is in the past. Live in the now. [groans as Chris almost knocks over the vase]
Chris: What? [knocks over the vase]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wonder what Eastern philosophy has to say about crazy glue.

Chris: So what should I do?
Principal Edwards: Just because you're you doesn't mean you can't be somebody else.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's called schizophrenia.
Chris: Now what about you? I mean, you traveled all around the world. Why'd you come back to be a principal?
Principal Edwards: I am going to tell you a story that I've never told anyone else. Not my wife, my priest, my shrink, no one.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I hope he doesn't say, "If I did it, here's how it happened."
Principal Edwards: It all began at a pancake house in Minneapolis.
Greg: Hey, Chris. What are you guys doing down there?
Chris: Nothing, just talking. What are you doing here?
Greg: Well, I called your house, and Drew said you were here. I couldn't believe it, so I had to come and check for myself.
Principal Edwards: Well, I think I'll, uh... Step outside and check on the weather. See about getting you home, Chris.
Chris: Yeah, all right.
Principal Edwards: Good, uh... Good talking to you, Greg. You, too, Principal Edwards.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Most days we were together, we couldn't wait to be apart. But every now and again, it felt really good to be together.
Julius: It's cold out there today. That snow is crazy. I went all the way to your school. What happened to you?
Chris: I was the only one there, so soon as I could leave, I left.
Rochelle: You're not gonna believe what happened to me today. I got robbed.
All: What?!
Rochelle: Yes. This guy kept me on the train for, like, five hours, took all my money.
Julius: How much did you have?
Rochelle: A dollar. [Julius sighs]
Tonya: Oh, that sounds just like Drew. We were playing Monopoly, and Drew took all Mr. Omar's money.
Rochelle: Mr. Omar was here?
Drew: Yeah, he watched us after Dad left.
Rochelle: Well, when did you leave?
Julius: Right after you left.
Chris: You're just now getting back?
Julius: I went to get you in a snow storm.
Rochelle: What about Mr. Omar? [overlapping chatter]

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After spending the whole day inside with Principal Edwards, I no longer felt like an outsider.
I had a new friend.
Principal Edwards: You're late.
Chris: What? A tardy slip? But what about yesterday?
Principal Edwards: That was in the past, we're in the now, Chris. And now you're late. See you in detention.