Michelle: Christ, I feel a bit bokey. [Michelle opens the curtains]
Clare: Sweet sufferin' Jesus, it's the morning already! What are we going to do?
Michelle: Well, maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
Clare: Calm down? We're still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven't so much looked at the famine!
Michelle: We've got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was ragin'.
James: Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings.
Michelle: And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick!

Clare: Seriously, folks, I'm not feeling entirely comfortable with this!
Father Peter: One... [Philip chuckles] two... [Clare screams] three.
Clare: [screams] Stop! Stop it! Get me out of here! He's trying to kill me! He wants to kill us all! All of the Catholics! Look at his eyes, he's a madman! A Fenian-hating madman. Don't let the Jaffa bastard hurt me! Please!
Erin: Jesus, Clare!
Michelle: Fuck-a-doodle do!

James: Why doesn't someone just call the police?
Erin: Cos that's not how things work around here, James.
James: Well, how do things work here? How do they work? Will one of you please explain it to me, because sometimes I feel like I've gone through the fucking looking glass!
Clare: Calm down, James.
Michelle: Aye, don't be such a dick, James.

Clare: Girls, I really don't feel great. I feel sort of shaky. I think my blood sugar is dangerously low.
Erin: Seriously, will you just have a Mars bar?
Clare: What about Kamal?
Michelle: Fuck Kamal.
Clare: Look, whatever happens in there, we have to stick together, OK? We have to back each other up.
Sister Michael: Ladies.
[inside Sister Michael's office:]
Clare: So it had nothing to do with me! Yes, OK, I was there, I admit that, but I didn't do anything. It was Michelle. It was all Michelle. I'm not going down for something I didn't do. If anyone deserves to get punished, it should be Michelle.
Sister Michael: Well, I think it's safe to say we all just lost a bit of respect for you there, Clare.

Erin: How's it going? [Clare gives a "so-so" hand gesture] You're really not gonna talk for 24 hours?
Orla: Yeah, that's tough. You're better off not breathing.
Erin: Would she be, Orla? Or... would she be dead?
Orla: It's not doing me any harm.
Erin: What?
Orla: I'm not breathing for Children in Need.
Erin: That's happening now, is it, you're currently not breathing?
Orla: Correct.
Erin: Grand.