Robin: Why did you do that? Up to then, you were playing a classic Alekhine's defense, and I was matching you every step of the way. Why in the world did you make that stupid move?
Sam: Wait! Wait! Whoa.
Robin: [opens Rebecca's office] Which one of you told him to make that stupid move?
Sam: You knew?
Robin: What do you think I am, an idiot?
Sam: What gave me away?
Robin: Well, for starters, the basketball game which you were supposed to be listening to was on the television set behind you and it had been over for about an hour.

Robin: You know, you're right, Rebecca. I've been acting like a fool. You see, for one moment, I actually lost control of that competitive edge which built my empire. Yeah. I apologize.
Rebecca: And what did you learn, Sam?
Sam: Well, I learned that it's not that much fun to play games if all you're worried about is winning or losing. I'm sorry that we ruined your day like that. I guess I said a lot of childish things there, Robin. I'm sorry. Um, you're a good sport. Ahem. [offers hand] Let's... Let's call it even, shall we?
Robin: [they shake hands] 1, 2, 3, 4. I declare a thumb war.

Robin: Rebecca. My darling. What are you doing?
Rebecca: I'm turning you in. You used me. And don't try to deny it, because I've got proof. Robin, I am a human being, and I deserve to be treated like one. It's about time I stood up and did what was right. Good-bye, Robin.
Robin: Rebecca. Will you marry me?
Rebecca: OK.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, wait a second! Wait! Come on! Open your eyes here! He doesn't want to marry you. He's just using you.
Robin: Actually, yes, I am.
Sam: See?
Robin: I'm using Rebecca to make me the happiest man on earth.
Sam: Oh, man.
Rebecca: Isn't he the sweetest baby?
Sam: Get out here. Listen. He's just marrying you to shut you up so he can take over the corporation.
Robin: Yes, to give to her as a wedding present, and now you've spoiled the surprise.

Sam: I don't believe you! Honey, listen, you got the evidence in your hand right here. If somebody comes out and sees this, you're gonna be guilty, too.
Robin: Yes, well, then we must make sure that no one sees it. Excuse me.
[Robin shreds the document in the portable, briefcase-sized shredder he was carrying]
Sam: Boy, you really come prepared, don't you?
Robin: Well, I guess our business here is finished. For Rebecca's sake, this conversation never happened.
Rebecca: The part happened where you proposed to me, didn't it?
Robin: Of course, my darling. That was destiny.

Robin: Is Rebecca in her office?
Carla: I thought you ditched her and skipped the country.
Robin: I did, but I've come back. I finally realized what Rebecca means to me. What use is my money or my freedom if I don't have the woman I love? Rebecca! I'm back! [enters Rebecca's office] Oh, my God!

Robin: A glass of ice water. And, uh, by the way, hello, Sam. Hello, boys. I'm back.
Sam: Robin! Robin Colcord! I'll be damned. How you been? Look at you! Why you, uh... Why are you dressed like that?
Robin: Well, my friends, I'm not the same Robin Colcord you once knew. I am penniless.
Carla: Robin! You left here with six million bucks! Remember, you had it hidden in that money belt in the office?
Robin: Yeah, well, I gave it away. And now I'm a drifter searching the world without a dime and finally liking what I find inside me.
Sam: Well... great.

Norm: No, seriously, Robin, you know, what have you been up to?
Robin: I've been living. I walked through Europe. I worked a kibbutz in Israel. Joined the merchant marine. Had the great honor to be blessed by the Pope. But listen to me going on about myself. What have you fellows been up to?
Cliff: Hitler moved into my building.
Robin: And, uh, how's Rebecca? Is she still luscious?
Carla: Uh, no. Actually, she slimmed down.

Carla: So, Rob, tell me the truth, you really don't miss having the big bucks?
Robin: Not a bit of it. Money makes people greedy, and greed is a disease. I was a miser. A sick little squirrel hiding money belts filled with millions of dollars all over the world.
Carla: You mean, uh, there were other ones besides that one you hid in the desk in Sam's office?
Robin: I- I used to hide them in pairs, backups, in case someone found the first one. Well, thank God I'm no longer obsessed by money. Now all I need is happiness and companionship.

Robin: [answers phone] Howe residence. Oh! Uh, hello, Frasier.
Frasier: I was just thinking about how you mentioned that you used to use, uh, hidden money belts, as financial security. Well, it just so happens that I have some valuables that I'd like to hide. But where? So I'd like to pick your brain if I could. Uh, I know that you favored the underside of desk drawers, but, uh, I thought you might throw out some more ideas. Pretend that you're the old Robin. [call waiting beeps]
Robin: Uh, uh, Frasier, would you just hold for a minute? I have another call coming in. Hello?
Cliff: Oh, yeah, hey, Robin, listen, uh yeah, found some sort of a money belt and I assume it's yours here, you know, but I hate to cause any problems in case it's not. So, okay I get it. Why don't you tell me where you hid yours and- and I'll tell you if that's where I found this one.
Robin: Well, uh, Cliff, I must admit that I had a penchant for hiding them in, uh, ductwork. You know, that way they'd be easy to get to and, uh, impervious to damage.
Cliff: Oh, uh, great, great, great. Oh, uh, I guess this isn't yours.
Robin: Okay. [changes line] Uh, Frasier?
Frasier: Oh, Robin. Hi. Yeah. Oh, that's okay. Uh... Mm-hmm. Ductwork, you say. Good-bye. [hangs up] It's in the ducts. We're rich. We're rich.
[back in Rebecca's apartment:]
Rebecca: Who was that?
Robin: Your friends. They're tearing apart your place of work looking for one of my money belts.

Rebecca: You know Robin Colcord... Colcord Investment, Colcord Foundation of the Arts, Colcord Plaza on Fifth Avenue.
Sam: Oh, small world. I used to date a secretary who worked there. Do you know a small blonde named Angela? I don't remember her last name.
Robin: I'm sorry. You'll have to be more specific.
Sam: Looks great in black boots.
Robin: She sounds like one of ours.